Gotta roll up the sleeves and get a little dirty

Thunderstorms used to scare me. I would be terrified of the loud noise and hope that when I came up out of the covers the noise would be gone. Right now as I look outside my living room window, the sun is brightly shining in all its glory. But I also see rain drops falling and I hear thunder... but its completely sunny outside! How pretty.

I've been trying to gather all the things floating around in my head from messages heard within the past month and Bible verses or chapters read from certain books to make some kinda sense out of them. Sometimes there's just so much going on in my head I need a couple weeks to figure out exactly what I've been reading or studying. Over the past month and a half, I've walked into the book of Jeremiah in the Bible. In the midst of this I've also placed aside my usual reading book and started a separate book titled One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven by Mark Cahill (which I highly recommend). I feel like I have reading ADHD! I don't usually put aside one book to start another but for some reason I did this time. Throw into it the mix of messages I heard at a Christian conference in July and it all starts to get a little confusing and a bit jumbled up in my mind, well, until I started thinking about it all. These past couple of weeks following the conference, I've been thinking about these questions that someone posed: "What if Jesus really meant what He said? What if God is serious about what He says in the Bible? And what are we gonna do about it?" Now of course, the obvious answer is certainly God is very serious about every single word He authored in His Word, the Bible!! But even knowing that, I know I don't live as if I know this oh-so-obvious truth.

Now with constantly having that in the back of my mind, I've been reading Jeremiah. I've come across this repetitive situation (literally from chapters 34 to 47 so far) between God and the people of Judah. God tells them that if they do a certain thing, there will be bad consequences such as being conquered by King Nebuchadnezzar. But the people of Judah, knowing this obvious truth spoken from the mouth of God himself through the prophet Jeremiah, refuse to believe God's words and instead, they regard God's truth as a lie. They do exactly what God told them would bring them bad consequences (like being conquered) and then they blame God for the consequences! Reading this has made me really think about the fact that- what God says He will do, He does.

When God says He's going to do something, He does it!

Now with constantly having that in the back of my mind, I've been reading the book One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven. Mark goes through various practical ways to witness and actually do what we Christians are commanded to do-spread the Good News! The way he uses real life witnessing examples are very encouraging to someone like me who rarely witnesses to strangers. I mean if what God means what He says about His ability to make us fishers of men, then I should be letting out my net for a catch right? Sometimes reading Cahill's encounters make me wonder why I am so timid when it comes to sharing my faith. Even last week at work a coworker asked me about my belief on a certain faith based issue and I felt timid sharing my Christian view fearing rejection or being rebutted so hard I wouldn't be able to answer. But I was really being scared of nothing-I feared a lie the devil uses constantly to keep us Christians afraid and shy away from boldly stating what God says as truth. But something Cahill said about witnessing made me think in a way that I never did before:
[start of excerpt from Cahill's book]
"What are the only three possible things that can happen when we share our faith?
1) the person can accept Jesus Christ
2) the person can reject Jesus Christ
3) we can plant a seed
After we talked about these possibilities we came up with a chart that looked like this:

ACCEPT	PLANT SEED	REJECT
Good	Good	Bad
Winning	Winning	Losing

We determined that accepting Jesus was a good situation, planting a seed was a good situation and someone rejecting Jesus was a bad situation. Another way to look at it was that accepting Jesus was a winning situation, planting a seed was a winning situation and being rejected was a losing situation. We concluded that 66% of the time that we share our faith it is a winning situation. Aren't those pretty good odds? Two-thirds of the time that we share our faith, we literally can't lose! But the next day, God spoke to my heart like never before. I was reading 1 Peter 4:14 which says, "If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye: On their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified." Just think about that for a moment. If we ever got rejected in the name of Jesus, we will be blessed and the glory of God will rest upon us. If you could have the glory of God shine in your life and be reflected onto others, would you want that? We all would as much as possible! One way that will happen is if we are rejected in the name of Jesus. God wasn't done with me yet. Luke 6:22-23 says, "Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in Heaven: for in the like manner did their forefathers unto the prophets." After God showed me these two verses, I realized I had been mistaken about my previous chart. I'd said we had a 66% chance of a winning situation when we share our faith. Now that we know those two verses, let's see how the chart changes,

ACCEPT	PLANT SEED	REJECT
Good	Good	Good
Winning	Winning	Winning

." [end excerpt from the book]

Wow right??! Every time I share my faith, it's a winning situation! I never thought about it like that before.
I've actually never thought this intensely on these three things before: the fact that God regards what He says in His Word seriously (things heard from conference) so I should do the same also. I'm also thinking about the fact that when God says He will do something, He does it (things seen in book of Jeremiah). I'm also considering the things God has been convicting my heart of as I've been reading Cahill's book.

As I got ready this morning to go for a hair cut appointment, I decided to bring my One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven book along with me to read while I got my hair cut. While driving in the car, I prayed that God would give me a spirit of courage and not timidity (2 Timothy 1:7) to either place tracts on the cars parked in the parking lot of the mall or even be able to bodly share Christ in a conversation with the hairstylist who would cut my hair. I remember thinking in my head, Lord I'm not really sure how I would even start a conversation about you...I don't want her to be freaked out if the first thing I asked her when I sat down in the chair was, "If God-forbid you were to die today, where do you think you would be?" So God, it would be pretty cool if the hair lady started a conversation with me about my book, that would actually give me a way to talk about you and share my faith. As I arrived in the parking lot five minutes late to my hair cutting appointment, I ran from my car to the mall, past all the other cars that I had hoped to put tracts on. I sat down in the waiting area where I saw the hair dresser working on another client. So I thought why not read my book? Ten minutes later, a young woman came up to me and told me she would be washing my hair today. I remember praying God, help me. So I followed her to the chair and sat down with my purse and book in hand. We talked about hair products and how the business for the day was going. Before I knew it, the wash was done and she said another lady would be over to cut my hair. I remember thinking, well way to blow it Jerry, you didn't say a word to her! The hairstylist came over and asked me what I wanted done to my hair. So I focused my attention the next couple of minutes on explaining to her exactly what I wanted done to my hairs. She started separating my hair and started cutting and I resumed my attention to reading more of my book. Moments later...
"So uh, what kinda book ya reading there? Any good stuff in there??"
I was stunned and as I had a smile on my face I lost words for a second while praying Oh dear God please help me...and oh boy, Lord, are you good!
I replied, "It's a great book! It's making me think a lot about heaven. Especially after the whole Colorado incident- crazy right?"
She agreed "I know right, even scarier thinking how that could happen just about anywhere." After looking for a way to start, I decided to take the dive, so I asked, "Hey, lemme ask you something, let's say you and I were in that theater that night, and if we weren't one of the survivors, where do you think you would be?" She stopped to think for a while and said, "Hmm, well I don't really believe in a hell but I would hope I would be somewhere like heaven!" So I asked her, well you believe in God right? She replied, "Yes, I mean did you see the huge cross tattooed on my arm? And I went to catholic school when I was younger but with all the different religions out there like Catholicism and Christianity even though they're similar they're very different, so how can ya really know which one is right?" I remember thinking wow God, you're really opening doors here! So I asked her, "Well, let's say you weren't a survivor and now you're facing God and he's asking you, "Why should I let you into my heaven?" That made her think for a while and she replied, "well I would hope to say I've done the best with the life I was given." So I asked her if she was familiar with the Ten Commandments and she said "ofcourse!" So I asked her, well let's see if by God's standards if you and I would be good enough to get into heaven. "Have you ever lied?"
"Well, yeah of course I have." She replied.
So I asked, "Well what does that make you and me?"
"Sinners" She said
"Well, let's not go that far, we're liars right?" I said
"Yeah, we're liars" She replied.
"Well have you ever stolen, even if it's a small pen?"
She replied, "Well yeah! TD bank has some awesome pens and I take a couple every time I go in there!" We laughed and I got back to the next question, "Jesus said that if we lust after a person in our hearts we are committing adultery with them, have you ever lusted after a person?"
She replied, "Yeah of course I have done that, who hasn't!"
So I said, "Well, by you and I right now by our own...(here is where I lost the right word and she actually finished the sentence for me!)
"By our own admission...." she said
I replied, "Yeah! By our own admission, we just said we're lying, thieving, adulterers. Now when God looks at you after you die where do you think you'll be going?" She stopped cutting my hair and said, "Wow, I guess I wouldn't have much to say."

We had a wonderful conversation about what the Lord did for the both of us on the cross of Calvary 2000 years ago when Christ divided history! (B.C. and A.D hehe) I could tell she was really listening because every once in a while I would lose my train of thought and she would remind me what I was saying! After my hair cut, I handed the her a tract and the lady said she really enjoyed the conversation! She had even told me that her roommate in college was a believer who had been converted from being a Jehovah's witness and she remembers her roommate not being persuaded to do wrong things! What a great testimony her roommate left even before I was able to mention Christ to her!! I'm not sure what she will do with the words that were spoken to her but I am comforted by knowing that whatever happens, seeds have been planted- it is a winning situation!

Boy, what a wake up call. I'm reminded to stop sitting around and to roll up my sleeves and get in the ring. I remember thinking wow that was truly something! But I shouldn't have been surprised- it really was proof that God is serious about His word and when God says He'll do something, He really does it! He supplied me with words and an opportunity today to do what I should be seeking to do everyday. Praise God! He really backs up His Words with His mighty deeds!

Trying to Reminisce with a Mental Memory Card

Ahhhh, home. After two or so weeks of being away, I'm finally at "home".

During the course of one week, I had rested my head in three different states. Now that I'm home, I find myself reflecting on the past week. It was a crazy week full of planes and 12 hours on the open road. The only things I missed were July 4th fireworks and a hot plate of chorrr and mean curry. But what is particularly interesting about the trips I made is I don't have any pictures to remember it by.

I did bring my camera for the first place I visited (Tampa) but I didn't get a chance to use it much...and by the end of that trip I had made the decision to leave it at home for my trip to Indiana which was two days after I arrived home from Florida. I simply didn't find the need for it. Here at home is where I'm realizing the effects of that conscious decision I made. I now have to depend solely on my memories of last week....there are no pictures I have of certain memorable or funny moments that would usually be captured on a timeless microchip that can replay your favorite memories to you in an instant. I find myself at work sometimes reminiscing on small aspects of the road trip such as where we stopped to eat breakfast or what mountain range we drove past....sad to say it's strange having to use my actual memory to remember scenes of my life rather than having a tangible photograph to say "Look! Here's where we stopped on our drive through Ohio!" All that being said, being forced to remember scenes from my life served as a blessing in disguise: this whole *depending on my memory* thing has helped me realize just how much actually stuck in my head from the past week- the new faces I'd met and most importantly the lessons I'd learned. So at work the other day I was thinking about reflecting and recollecting my thoughts so that I might have one place where I can look back on it all.

Thinking back to Tampa, if there was one silly life lesson I'd have to remind myself of over again it would be-
1. Never leave your luggage unattended.
I remember leaving my Bible, handbag and my one and only carry on luggage bag, which had all my things for the whole weekend, at a table during a dinner at a church one night when I got called into another room for a meeting. I came back one hour later to find the dining hall deserted and my bags gone! Weirdly enough my handbag and Bible was kept right where it was but my luggage was gone. My mind started frantically thinking about all my things for the weekend that were in my bags- gone in an instant. Someone with good intentions had thought it was left there accidentally and took it in the hopes of finding its owner. Luckily a majority of those at the dinner were familiar to me so I was able to recover my things at the end of the night- but I sure learned my lesson! I always heard it being announced at an airport to "Never leave your luggage unattended" but I guess the same is true outside of an airport setting! I learned to either take it with me or let others know it's been kept there to retrieve later, haha.

Moving on to a lesson learned from my two day stop at home.
2. When packing, making a list always helps! & Don't cross of the item until it is securely placed inside your suitcase!
This used to be a downfall for me in the past but learning from my mistake has helped me pack more effectively and efficiently. I would put something in, cross it off the list only to take it out for another use and forget to put it back in. This time, I only crossed off items that were in my travel bag for good!

Lessons learned on the road!
3. Packing a lunch that travels well is an inexpensive and fun way to feed hungry stomachs out on the road!
I had the wonderful privilege of traveling with an older couple. The woman I traveled with thoughtfully brought delicious picnic style chicken salad sandwiches we could assemble ourselves. I'm familiar with always having a rest stop at a McDonald's or Roy Rogers...something where you get fast food and spend some spare change on food that is probably not the best thing to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. However, this woman's example taught me what it looks like to have a good balance of spending and saving on the road (when possible)- we ate breakfast at Roy Rogers and we ate her home made sandwiches for lunch. Sadly on the way back we didn't have any home made sandwiches even though my cousin and I were secretly craving her chicken salad sandwich. ;) We did stop at Cracker Barrel though which made the ride home a bit sweeter. :)

I also learned that a road trip is a great way to find out more about your travel companions. Turning off the music for a while and just talking was a great way to keep drivers awake and also entertained. It surprised me how many hours we went simply talking without any music.Our voices and laughter were the music that filled the car as we shared and reflected on God's faithfulness in our lives. That was truly a blessing.

Lessons learned out at IWU! Here is probably where the most important lessons I'd learned.

From hearing several speakers and various testimonies of the wonderful people I met, there was one reoccurring message that was pounding away at my hard skull, which was:
4. Question things. (I am not talking about doubting)
I get so stuck in a rut of reading and understanding the Bible in a mundane and routine way....I find myself reading parables as stories that I assume make complete sense without any questioning of whats happening, why its happening the way its happening and who is making what happen. Did that confuse you enough?
I don't remember the last time I read a familiar passage in the Bible and asked out loud why is it a woman losing her coin? Why isn't it a man losing 1 out of his 10 coins? Why is it just one coin that she lost out of 10? Is there something special about 10 coins? (If you didn't get my reference, it was of the parable of the lost coin found in Luke 15.) The truth I was reminded of last week is that God writes things in the Bible in such a way that there is so much more to understand if only I would just wonder about it. I mean, if we're talking about the One who thought it important to write words "it was night" when describing when Judas left the table at the last supper: "As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night." John 13:30
When God writes something, He writes it with a purpose and leaves out nothing that He finds important. Do you think the God who had even the thread color of the robes of His Old Testament priests written down would somehow forget to write down what color a woman's head covering should be? No. He writes things with purpose and He also leaves things out (color of a woman's head covering) with purpose.Yet here I am many times just sitting and reading His Word as I would read any old story book. I need to learn how to pry open the words on the page instead of assuming I understand everything I need to from the words written right there. I heard a speaker once say, "You are not supposed to read the Bible, you are supposed to read a magazine. You are supposed to study the Bible." I pray I can start implementing this lesson learned in my life A.S.A.P.

Last lesson learned:
I remember talking to a friend on how to be a more useful vessel for my Maker and the lesson I learned from that one conversation has altered my way of thinking for good.
5. God is more concerned about the work He is doing IN me rather than the work He is doing THROUGH me.
Sometimes I get so focused on how I can be used for God to bring Him glory rather than realizing that God can use anyone to bring Him glory. The truth is that God is more concerned about the work He is doing inside of me rather than what He can do through me. That was a slap in the face kind of moment. It's not bad to be concerned about bringing God glory but its when I forget that I, or in essence what is going on inside of me and my life is what will bring God glory more than any place I go, words I say or some type of good work I do in the hope of bringing God glory. The thing God is working in me will speak louder than anything  He does through me.

Well, those are just A FEW of the lessons I've learned from my little trip. If I'd written on all the lessons, I wouldn't even be able to look back and read that long of a blog post so I'm really sparing myself. By not writing them all down I'm trusting that I have committed to memory* what I have learned...and boy am I learning how valuable my memory is. Mental pictures rather than physical, tangible photographs. Quite frankly I'm not sure what I'll do when I get old and my memory fails me. Thankfully when my memory fails, I'll be able to lean on the Rock who promises to never forget me.

"What is the price of five sparrows? A couple of pennies? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows." (Luke 12:6)

You see, I still haven't forgiven you yet....

Verse that smacked me in the face this week....
Ezekiel 33: 30-32 -“As for you, son of man, your countrymen are talking together about you by the walls and at the doors of the houses, saying to each other, ‘Come and hear the message that has come from the Lord.’ My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice. With their mouths they express devotion, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice."

Now here's the actual post....
I thought I would do something different for this week's post. I wanted to share a video that picks up on a thought I've had on my mind for quite some time now. On my walk, I've slowly but surely dragged my feet through the book of Ezekiel. I feel like I don't understand half of the things that Ezekiel sees or hears from God but there has been certain qualities that God reveals about Himself so beautifully-two of the many are his patience and forgiveness. In Ezekiel 16, God explains how his own people betrayed him. He compares his people to an adulterous wife. In this sad and gruesome analogy, God shows that even though he is deeply grieved by how little his people love him, he still remains patient and merciful to them and God is calling me to do the same today. Here are some mind blowing examples of exactly how God expects one to forgive others as we ourselves have been forgiven, check out Matthew 18: 21-35 and John 8:1-11.
        If you're going to watch the video, I suggest you pause the music by pressing the "play/pause" button on the Ipod located on the top right of the webpage now.

Check out TenthAvenueNorth's chanel for more awesome videos!

Luke 17:3-4 says "Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

I have to constantly remind myself that Christ had to die for my sins the same way he had to die for the sins of the person who hurt me. All of us are in the same boat when it comes to how we stand before God so why is it so hard for me to remember that- "All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him"? (Isaiah 53:6)

What has really been helpful for me whenever I have a moment where I get angry at someone I love for doing something that hurts me is reminding myself of this verse. At first I'll feel that moment of hurt and anger but that is when I tell myself to take a step back and ask if it's really worth wasting 2 or 5 or however many minutes of my life dwelling on and being angry about this incident that I probably won't remember if I don't dwell on it. Sometimes the best way to react in a situation is thinking before actually reacting.

The human mind is an amazing creation so I'm not going to be naive and tell myself it's an easy task to forgive and forget. It's not easy to forget past grievances but you see, when I realize just how much I'm guilty of and how much I myself been forgiven for, I wouldn't dare give a second thought to forgiving someone else for an offense against me. That's the moment when Luke 17:3-4 will seem like the only reasonable thing to do. I pray that I will take this thought that's been on my heart so seriously that it will show in my actions.

Don't Believe The Lie.

I'm a big sports fan.

Over the years, my liking of sports has grown and changed. I remember my middle school years when I could name every Philadelphia 76er's player and coach and watch almost all the games. I'm even a little embarrassed to admit that I even built a shrine in my room of little newspaper article cut outs of my favorite player Allen Iverson. I was a strange child who would flip back and forth between Food Network and ESPN (any Around the Horn watchers??) I guess when I fell for a certain sport, I fell hard.

As I grew older, I started to appreciate sports like baseball and hockey (we're still working on football) ....if you ask any of my friends, they'll attest to the fact that I can even watch a whole game of golf. It's strange, I get pure enjoyment out of watching a fine weekend game of golf. Some of my favorite memories include either going to or just watching games with my friends- feeling pure excitement when one of our guys hits the buzzer-beater or soaking up the tears as we watched a championship slip away.

But as a fan, I came to a stark realization. Each year I watched eagerly for my team to deliver a championship but unfortunately for most of the time, I had to angrily watch many other teams obtain the ring or the trophy or the cup instead. However, there is one thing I realized about the teams that win- Every year, they tried again. With how hard these guys worked, the many hours invested for that one championship...you think they would be satisfied with finally obtaining what they worked so hard to get! The players got their fame, the fans had the parade, the city had that day of pure rejoicing. But then you wake up the next day...and the parade is over..and the players have made their millions....the truth is you are left craving for the feeling you once had.

Ever feel like that? I'm sure if your a Phillies fan like me you got pure happiness in 08 with that world series win but now if only we could do it again right? If only we had a repeat, another parade, maybe if the Flyers win the cup or the eagles get a ring we'll be satisfied.

But that's a lie.

Allow me to give a small example. You've seen the NE Pats and how many rings Brady has on his finger. You think any of the fans are gonna say- "naa Tom, we're okay this year, we don't want you to win anymore...we're SATISFIED" No way! Something like that just sounds silly. But you see the truth is, these things may give us a great amount of happiness while it's happening but what we forget to realize is that "joy" doesn't last. These things won't ever give us the lasting satisfaction we so deeply desire. But isn't this the exact same way we go about our lives sometimes? Just one more look, maybe one more touch, just one more ....then I'll be satisfied, then I'll never do it again! We're always hungry for more, hoping to hold on to that fleeting moment of pleasure. You see, that's exactly what this world offers- the joys of this world are only temporary-a bit of happiness and pleasure that will last for a night but then it's over, gone, and you're left searching for the next. So why would anyone settle for this when there's something far better? Is it because the immediate, tangible pleasure we see being offered to us now looks better than the ones we are asked to patiently wait in hope for?

As I was listening to a sermon, I heard a statement that stuck with me:
"Giving up something now for something better later is not you making a sacrifice, it is you making an investment." So what seems like a worthwhile investment? Look at what the bible says:

"The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:17

"You make known to me the path of life;
 in your presence there is fullness of joy;
 at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

This is where lasting pleasure is. Here is where a soul finds its rest and satisfaction- in the presence of the Maker of joy, the Maker of pleasures, the Maker of life. Where better to find ultimate satisfaction than the source of it?

Don't get me wrong, I myself am extremely grateful that God gave us the ability to enjoy things in this world that make us happy- but what I am saying is don't settle for the passing pleasures this world has to offer. Don't believe the lie that those things will satisfy you... remember only putting our trust and finding our rest in our Maker will supply lasting joy to our weary souls.

If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was made for another world.

-C.S. Lewis

When Christianity becomes hereditary...

Over the past few weeks I've made great leaps in my effort in reading the Bible chronologically or at best according to a reading plan I found. Sadly, these great leaps only came in the form of covering much ground but not really understanding or comprehending what I was reading...(books like Amos, Obadiah, or Micah). It didn't really even help that these books were at best four or five chapters long...so when I say that I've made great leaps, I've really made no leaps at all- not even large steps. I seemed to have walked fast so long in the woods through these books that when I look back, I can't even see any of my footprints. I definitely have to take a walk through those books again. But nonetheless, I am pressing onward, and my walk has landed me in the book of Isaiah.
My heart pained as I read this account of a people who God heroically brought out, ransomed, healed, and loved but had no reverence, love or even appreciation towards God. As I continued reading, I noticed that this pain I felt was not solely from the passage but also from the realization that this same problem is present today- this wasn't just a phenomenon locked away in the ancient pages of Isaiah. Ironically (or not so ironically), what I was reading was exactly what had been true in my own life.

These Israelites were second or third generation Isrealites...people of God. Look what the Lord says of them:

² Hear me, you heavens! Listen, earth!  
   For the LORD has spoken: 
“I reared children and brought them up, 
   but they have rebelled against me. 
³ The ox knows its master, 
   the donkey its owner’s manger, 
but Israel does not know, 
   my people do not understand.”

 ⁴ Woe to the sinful nation,
   a people whose guilt is great,
a brood of evildoers,
   children given to corruption!
They have forsaken the LORD;
   they have spurned the Holy One of Israel
   and turned their backs on him. - Isaiah 1: 2-4

¹¹ “The multitude of your sacrifices—
   what are they to me?” says the LORD.
“I have more than enough of burnt offerings,
   of rams and the fat of fattened animals;
I have no pleasure
   in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.
¹² When you come to appear before me,
   who has asked this of you,
   this trampling of my courts?
¹³ Stop bringing meaningless offerings!
   Your incense is detestable to me.
New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations—
   I cannot bear your worthless assemblies.
¹⁴ Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals
   I hate with all my being.
They have become a burden to me;
   I am weary of bearing them.
¹⁵ When you spread out your hands in prayer,
   I hide my eyes from you;
even when you offer many prayers,
   I am not listening.- Isaiah 1:11-15

There certainly wasn't an attitude of love or reverence when these people came before the Redeemer, the Deliverer, the LORD. It must have stemmed from such a familiarity of hearing these same deliverance stories, seeing the same sacrifices being brought as a result of reoccurring sins...these guys were "going through the motions." They lost the joy their forefathers like Abraham and Joseph had in walking with and living for the LORD. They had gotten all of this passed down to them...hereditary.They had heard the stories from their parents- "sure, God saved our fathers from a mean and nasty Pharoah. Yesss we know, we were once slaves...but Godddd delivvverred us" The amazing accounts of God's love became like a broken record that was replayed over and over till it became stuck as merely head knowledge and there, in the head, it made it's dwelling. It refused to move down into their hearts where it could transform their lives. 

While reading, I was reminded of the charge against the church in Ephesis
"But I have this against you, that you have left your first love." (Revelation 2:4)

The people of Isreal had lost their first love, and look what resulted- 

there was no true obedience..they had no true knowledge or understanding of the LORD and because they thought they knew Him, but really didn't, they turned their backs on Him. But wait, they knew what they should be doing! Of course! It had been told to them for ages now, generations have passed on exactly what they needed be done to obtain favor from the God they thought they knew! Wanna lie? Just offer so and so number of animals. Wanna cheat? Here's the recipe for that sacrifice. They multiplied offerings to the LORD and look at His response- He. Hated. It. But Jerry, they even prayed to God!! God's response? He. Didn't. Listen. 

I remember a couple years ago, while thinking in retrospect upon many things, there was one idea that stuck out like a sore thumb (and thankfully may I add) was the thought of WHY. Why did the Isrealites act this way? Why did they have the audacity to value these things so lightly? Wait, Why have I also acted this way for so long?

I remember thinking, why. Sadly, (and yet by God's grace I can say thankfully) I asked myself, why am I going to church every week? Why am I reminded to read the bible every day? What could possibly be so important that I have to remember these verses? And sadly, I hear the hearts of many asking the same questions-WHY do we do the things we do so routinely?

I remember asking the same questions many "second generation church goers" may ask: Why I was doing it? Was I a Christian simply because my parents told me that I must go to church? Was I a Christian because I had known in my head about what Jesus did for me?

I remember stopping one night and just thinking it through. How is it that so many people around me were enthusiastic about praying and singing while I just didn't get it? Had they heard a different story than what I'd heard? Did they hear it longer?

Revelation 2:4 hit me and it hit me hard. What was common about who they all loved? I looked at Abraham's life, who did he love? He certainly loved God more than his own son. Who did Joseph love? He certainly loved the LORD more than a woman or any earthly position. 

I believe that finding the spark in a story that you've heard over and over is very hard but that's sometimes what happens when Christianity becomes hereditary....simply passed on...handed down the family line to the next generation... to carry on...pick up the reigns- and it surprises me how widely spread this detrimental misconception is! The thought that "oh my kid's know I am Christian so they will automatically just follow after." Well I guess it shouldn't be too surprising as even the children of Israel had the same problem. The rules about the sacrifices and feasts had been simply passed down for them to carry out- it wasn't a reality in their lives- they felt no need for it or for God. But what I came to realize as someone who grew up hearing the gospel, and I hope will help you realize, is that until or unless you want to love this God who is reaching out to you, Christianity will be just a story that is told and retold in your head.

Don't take my word for it, let's look at what God says in that same passage in Isaiah: 
¹⁶ Wash and make yourselves clean. 
   Take your evil deeds out of my sight; 
   stop doing wrong. 
¹⁷ Learn to do right; seek justice. - Isaiah 1:16 and the beginning of 17.

How can someone make themselves clean unless they determine to do so? and WHY (the oh so important question) would someone determine to wash themselves? Only after he has determined that he is in need of cleaning of course- or in easier terms, someone will consciously determine to make themselves clean when they realize they are dirty. But this question goes deeper, WHY would someone take their evil deeds out of the Lord's sight? Because they know it is something He hates. Who that is trying to love someone will want to do what that person hates? Sometimes, the only way to make something not a motion or routine is to rediscover it, to renew a love for it.

Remember when I said reading through books like Amos and Micah etc. were hard to reflect upon since I couldn't understand much?  Well it's hard to believe... but one thing did stick- God is speaking to His beloved children of Isreal and it's found in the book of Micah:

 ³ “My people, what have I done to you?
   How have I burdened you? Answer me.
⁴ I brought you up out of Egypt
   and redeemed you from the land of slavery.
I sent Moses to lead you,
   also Aaron and Miriam.

⁸ He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
   And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
   and to walk humbly^[a] with your God.- Micah 6:3-4, 8

"Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?"- Amos 3:3

God did the same exact thing for us through the cross. He brought us up out of death, gave us life. He redeemed us from the land of slavery to sin. He gave His word, the Bible, to lead us through the wilderness of life. God doesn't want burnt sacrifices anymore, He abolished that with the perfect sacrifice of Christ Jesus on the cross! He wants us to accept His sacrifice that He did on our behalf once and for all! He wants us to walk humbly with Him.

Let me end off by reminding you of when "AN EXPERT IN THE LAW" spoke up to ask Jesus something. It is seen in Luke 10:

²⁵ On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
[Jesus replies:] 

 ²⁶ “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
 ²⁷ He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’^[c]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[d]”
   ²⁸ “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

We may sometimes think we are experts at something when hearing it constantly and repeatedly but as the Bible so often reminds us and warns us, even experts can be blinded by mere head knowledge- in order to truly act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God, one must want to love Him or rediscover their first love for Him.

It's a Friday night, and I'm relaxing...no really, I'm listening to cello music.

Woooo what a week! First exam of the second semester came with a roarrr and washed over me like a tidal wave! The waves haven't ceased yet but I'm slowly but surely learning how to keep my head above water.

Today, I took advantage of the beautiful day and went on another one of those walks...that led me right up to Green line. This time, I got a chance to actually sit down with my drink and just scan the faces there. (Yes I may have looked creepy or just very interested in the scenery around me) I did get a chance to taste their hot chocolate...I made an unwise decision to make it a macadamia nut hot chocolate because even for me, it was just too sweet. I should have gotten straight up hot chocolate with no extras. So after my purchase, I sat down and did some observing. As my eyes moved about the cafe, my gaze soon rested on a display case that showcased a batch of freshly baked ginger and apple scones with orange icing.

I fell like the walls of Jericho.


Now that I've felt content with my chatter about my day, I should get into a thought that made its way into one corner of my mind the other night.


On my journey, I've slowly walked through 1 Samuel and have taken a few steps into 2 Samuel where I met David. And whatta guy! He seems like a guy's guy. Sensitive in all the right ways and manly enough to slay the enemy and rule a kingdom. And please don't get me started on his whole friendship with Jonathan- talk about a bromance! If that ain't a bromance, I don't know what is. What really took it over the top was when I saw God's own testimony of the guy- that he's a guy after His own heart. I was like well there ya go! What more can you need! Bottom line, this guy David, he's awesome.


Well like waking up from a lovely dream to the horrible buzz of your alarm, I was hit hard with the reality of who David really was- a sinner..just like me. Well wait, where's the David I know? The awesome David. where'd he go? He fell. Fell hard for a woman, and not just any woman, Bathsheba, and not just any Bathsheba, he fell for the Bathsheba who was THE WIFE OF Uriah. He fell to the point where he got her pregnant. He fell so hard that each sin he committed blinded him from the depravity of each successive sin he committed as a result of the first. (How true in my life also). Hmm, maybe this guy after God's own heart is not so different than a girl who is trying to discern what things in her life would help her be someone after God's own heart.


In the midst of my sadness at David's actions, I took notice of another man who was also very deeply affected by David's sins. This man was named Uriah. It's a given that David's behavior of staying behind during time of battle was strange enough in itself...but even after being told that Bathsheba was THE WIFE OF...David still decided to commit sin by taking her and laying with her. This just seemed outside of David's "normal, typical character" up till this point. And now look when exactly does he choose to take Bathsheba? While her husband is out fighting for his life, fighting to protect King David's very life, fighting to protect his wife's life and the people back home. He's a loyal soldier whose being betrayed by the king he's fighting for. Disgusting. Tragic. I almost felt like crying for Uriah. He had no clue. David calls Uriah to come back from the battle. King David tries to get Uriah drunk so he can go home and lay with his wife and be able to hide up the fact that David got Bathsheba pregnant. But what does Uriah do? He, even in his drunkenness knows the troop is lying out in some field with the enemies threat looming over their heads, so he also sleeps outside the king's house. He knows that those soldiers out there don't have the luxury of going back home to their wives, he knows those guys don't have a comfy bed to sleep in, so he refuses to sleep in comfort. What a brave soldier, what a guy! Loyal, self controlled, and purely innocent. As I sat there reading of such a guy, I was smacked in the face with King David's next ingenious idea- he plans Uriah's death by making him fight on the front lines. What's more? David  uses Uriah to carry his own death sentence to the army commander. The whole time, Uriah had absolutely no clue. What happens? The loyal, self controlled, innocent, Uriah dies or more truthfully murdered. He may have died a soldier's death, honorably- while fighting in battle. The fact that David puts Uriah in the front line where the bible says is where the "valiant men fought" (2 Sam 11:16) showed me that Uriah may have not been the strongest fighter in the pack but he was a little guy purposely put  in dangers way at the front line.


Uriah was completely innocent! He died thinking that he was fighting on behalf of a loyal king who respected him. He had no clue that the king stole his wife, planned his death and used him to carry out his own death warrant. David's sin didn't stop after one, his sin snowballed into successive sins- each numbed him even more than the previous- to the point that he was so blind about his sin that he even didn't recognize he was sinning!


our sins affect the people around us and they affect the relationship we have with the people around us negatively. 


The sins I commit today are not only hurting my relationship with God, but it's hurting the relationship I have with my mother, my father, my sister, my friend, or even you who is reading this. I hope this serves as a reminder to you and to me in the constant struggle to overcome certain sins in life. I know that God is not pleased with the sins I commit but my sins affect others who are on the outside just about the same as it affects me on the inside. That's a sobering thought. I need to remember this the next time I'm tempted to sin.  Is my sin going to lead to other sins that snowball into more sins? (more likely, yes) and like icy snow- will these sins create a numbness around my soul that prevents me from feeling the sting of sinning? (most likely, yes) How is this sin going to affect my relationship to others around me? (think about it.)  I pray I can truly turn away from a sin when I ask for forgiveness for my sins by thinking about the consequences of my sin the next time I'm presented with the temptation.


I'll leave you with David's cry once he realized exactly what happened as a result of his sin and who he hurt while sinning.


Psalm 51(NASB)

 ¹ Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
² Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
³ For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
⁴ Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.

 ⁵ Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
⁶ Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
⁷ Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
⁸ Make me to hear joy and gladness,
Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
⁹ Hide Your face from my sins
And blot out all my iniquities.

 ¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me away from Your presence
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.
¹³ Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners will be converted to You.

 ¹⁴ Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation;
Then my tongue will joyfully sing of Your righteousness.
¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
That my mouth may declare Your praise.
¹⁶ For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it;
You are not pleased with burnt offering.
¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

 ¹⁸ By Your favor do good to Zion;
Build the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then You will delight in righteous sacrifices,
In burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
Then young bulls will be offered on Your altar.


There's the David I'm familiar with! The sinner who is still a man after God's own heart. Find the whole story in 2 Samuel 11!
Take care.

Ruth

On my journey through the Bible, I've come to the book of Ruth and I got to say I read it in a way that I've never read it before. I thank God for letting me see things I hadn't seen before even through my many previous times reading through this short but amazing book. It's on a reminder that no matter how many times you read something in the Bible, there's only more layers to peel back and lessons to be learned from it.

As I started reading, I came across the usual qualities of Ruth that are so widely discussed but my eyes took a fresh, new look at Boaz. He doesn't really come into the scene until the mother and daughter-in-law duo reach Bethlehem. Here is where Ruth decides to take on responsibility and asks her mother-in-law for permission to go work in a field so they will have grain- which I'm not sure if they'll sell or eat or do even both with it. Basically, she is concerned with the idea of going out and doing work which will provide for herself and her mother. She wasn't idle or lazy. As she went on concerned about her work, she ended up working right into Boaz's field. The first time she saw Boaz was probably when he came back from doing things in the town and greeted his workers. It is recorded that when he returned, he greeted the people with "May the LORD be with you." (Ruth 2:4) and they replied with a blessing for him. After he greets the people (My thinking is that he greeted the workers in his field), he goes to one of his most trustworthy servants who was put in charge of the workers and inquires about the young woman- who she is and whose she is. The first thing I noticed here is that Boaz did his research. He saw this young woman and instead of running right up to her, he inquired of her from someone who has probably spent the day looking after the workers. He gets her whole history in a matter of minutes or verses lol (Ruth 2:5-7). He finds out where she is from, who she is here with, why she came here, how long she has been here and where she is now. You might think he's a news reporter or something with all this information he learns from his servant lol!- but I think his curiosity was of a genuine interest and not of any impure motive. Only after learning about her or doing some research, did he decide to approach her & when he did, oh it was something beautiful! Their first recorded conversation is really something marvelous.


Boaz approaches Ruth and says "Then Boaz said to Ruth, “Listen carefully, my daughter. Do not go to glean in another field; furthermore, do not go on from this one, but stay here with my maids. Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them. Indeed, I have commanded the servants not to touch you. When you are thirsty, go to the water jars and drink from what the servants draw.” Ruth 2:8-9


There are a few things I noticed about his first conversation with her:
He approaches her with a word of advice or instruction and says, "Listen carefully."
The way he speaks to her is with an affectionate tone, "my daughter" almost with a gentle concern.
He asks her to stay in his field and not look at any other fields.
He assures her that he will protect her by telling her how he has already commanded his servants not to touch her.He explains that he will provide for her by allowing her to drink when she is thirsty and even drink out of what his own servants draw.
To briefly sum what I just said up, in his first conversation with her, his conduct is gentle, he promises to protect her and provide for her.

What is her response to this? Look at Ruth 2:10. She falls on her face! She bows to the ground and is at utter amazement at how on earth she found favor in his eyes. She feels unworthy. Is this not a picture of how Christ treats us? and how we are to react to Christ's affection, gentle tone, promise to protect and provide for us?

Boaz doesn't write off Ruth's question of how or why she found favor in his eyes. He explains to her exactly what it is that impressed him and he blesses her. It is recorded that Ruth continued working in his field for quite some time. & After some time, Naomi starts seeing how it's probably time for Ruth to find a husband, she's been so helpful with looking after the family and taking care of Naomi that it's time for Ruth to take care of herself. Naomi gently instructs Ruth to go propose marriage to Boaz! Now when I read this, I was like whaaaat? But after looking at a commentary, the suggested reason for this is that since Boaz was an older gentlemen and Ruth was a young woman, he would not have approached her. Instead, Naomi suggested Ruth to propose using this ancient Eastern custom seen in Ruth 3:2-9. What really caught my attention here is Boaz's reponse. He graciously accepts and compliments her by saying how he and the people of the city know she is a woman of excellence. A woman of excellence- what a coincidence- just verses before, Boaz was seen greeting the people and being blessed by them. Both Boaz and Ruth seem to personify excellence which makes them a pretty well matched couple. BUT- Boaz says, there is someone else who has a closer relation than he does so as is customary, he must ask the other gentleman first.

This moment was pivotal. This young lady turns the tide and risks it all by proposing to a much older gentleman and here, they both seem to agree to the marriage but Boaz says, wait- there's a possibility that you are not meant for me! There is another who might have the first right to marry you. What a bummer. Can you imagine what may be going on in Ruth's mind? She's become familiar with Boaz and comfortable enough to talk openly with him and even ready to spend the rest of her life with him but in a matter of hours, she might be engaged to marry someone totally different. But this is exactly what defines Boaz as a man of excellence! He knew he had to do what is right even though it might not end up how they both want it. This is an amazing display of excellence. He was a man who knew the laws and regulations by which he had to abide so he openly and honestly tells Ruth of the situation. He sends her back to Naomi with even more barley than she gathered! When Ruth arrives back home, she tells Naomi all about what happened. (Talk about an amazing mother-in-law to daughter relationship) Naomi instructs Ruth to W A I T until she knows how the matter falls or turns out for the man will not rest until he has settled it today. That caught my attention also- waiting to just see how the matter falls. Sometimes I find myself trying to take matters into my own hands. But here, Naomi instructs Ruth to just..wait. Not jump down any throats, not taking matters into your own hands, but just wait. That really showed me just how much faith/patience/peace they had in God's plan for their future and life in general. Not worrying about any matter.

Meanwhile, Boaz, the lovely gentleman goes up to the city gate and finds the other relative and gathers the ten elders of the city and they discuss the matter. Now although Boaz was an older gentlemen, he still had the humbleness and respect to approach the other gentlemen about his responsibility/choice of marrying Ruth. What does the other gentleman say? "I cannot redeem it for myself, because I would jeopardize my own inheritance. Redeem it for yourself..." Ruth 4:6. OUCH. He refused to take on Ruth because that would be taking a hit for his own inheritance or property or family. Boaz and the other man then create an agreement that Ruth will be wed to Boaz and the elders of the city bless Boaz by blessing Ruth. After reading this, I think of how Christ had even more that he placed in jeopardy to redeem me and yet He did it. He gave up His heavenly glory for skin, His crown for thorns, His life He traded to die in my place all to R E D E E M me. Boaz was Ruth's kinsman redeemer as Christ is our Redeemer. Ruth was a widow, she lost all she had, she left her family, friends, home and clung to Naomi which is characteristic of a deep, faithful love. There must not have been much to gain by marrying this widow but Boaz redeemed her- gave her hope for a bright future. I'm so amazed at how through his love and conduct to Ruth, Boaz shadows certain characteristics of Christ. 

and what's more? Boaz and Ruth turn out to be the great grandparents of King David and are even included in the genealogy of Jesus Himself! What a blessed story! Well, I'm off to travel through the book of 1 Samuel and I can't wait to see who I'll meet there! Laters. =)