It's a Friday night, and I'm relaxing...no really, I'm listening to cello music.

Woooo what a week! First exam of the second semester came with a roarrr and washed over me like a tidal wave! The waves haven't ceased yet but I'm slowly but surely learning how to keep my head above water.

Today, I took advantage of the beautiful day and went on another one of those walks...that led me right up to Green line. This time, I got a chance to actually sit down with my drink and just scan the faces there. (Yes I may have looked creepy or just very interested in the scenery around me) I did get a chance to taste their hot chocolate...I made an unwise decision to make it a macadamia nut hot chocolate because even for me, it was just too sweet. I should have gotten straight up hot chocolate with no extras. So after my purchase, I sat down and did some observing. As my eyes moved about the cafe, my gaze soon rested on a display case that showcased a batch of freshly baked ginger and apple scones with orange icing.

I fell like the walls of Jericho.


Now that I've felt content with my chatter about my day, I should get into a thought that made its way into one corner of my mind the other night.


On my journey, I've slowly walked through 1 Samuel and have taken a few steps into 2 Samuel where I met David. And whatta guy! He seems like a guy's guy. Sensitive in all the right ways and manly enough to slay the enemy and rule a kingdom. And please don't get me started on his whole friendship with Jonathan- talk about a bromance! If that ain't a bromance, I don't know what is. What really took it over the top was when I saw God's own testimony of the guy- that he's a guy after His own heart. I was like well there ya go! What more can you need! Bottom line, this guy David, he's awesome.


Well like waking up from a lovely dream to the horrible buzz of your alarm, I was hit hard with the reality of who David really was- a sinner..just like me. Well wait, where's the David I know? The awesome David. where'd he go? He fell. Fell hard for a woman, and not just any woman, Bathsheba, and not just any Bathsheba, he fell for the Bathsheba who was THE WIFE OF Uriah. He fell to the point where he got her pregnant. He fell so hard that each sin he committed blinded him from the depravity of each successive sin he committed as a result of the first. (How true in my life also). Hmm, maybe this guy after God's own heart is not so different than a girl who is trying to discern what things in her life would help her be someone after God's own heart.


In the midst of my sadness at David's actions, I took notice of another man who was also very deeply affected by David's sins. This man was named Uriah. It's a given that David's behavior of staying behind during time of battle was strange enough in itself...but even after being told that Bathsheba was THE WIFE OF...David still decided to commit sin by taking her and laying with her. This just seemed outside of David's "normal, typical character" up till this point. And now look when exactly does he choose to take Bathsheba? While her husband is out fighting for his life, fighting to protect King David's very life, fighting to protect his wife's life and the people back home. He's a loyal soldier whose being betrayed by the king he's fighting for. Disgusting. Tragic. I almost felt like crying for Uriah. He had no clue. David calls Uriah to come back from the battle. King David tries to get Uriah drunk so he can go home and lay with his wife and be able to hide up the fact that David got Bathsheba pregnant. But what does Uriah do? He, even in his drunkenness knows the troop is lying out in some field with the enemies threat looming over their heads, so he also sleeps outside the king's house. He knows that those soldiers out there don't have the luxury of going back home to their wives, he knows those guys don't have a comfy bed to sleep in, so he refuses to sleep in comfort. What a brave soldier, what a guy! Loyal, self controlled, and purely innocent. As I sat there reading of such a guy, I was smacked in the face with King David's next ingenious idea- he plans Uriah's death by making him fight on the front lines. What's more? David  uses Uriah to carry his own death sentence to the army commander. The whole time, Uriah had absolutely no clue. What happens? The loyal, self controlled, innocent, Uriah dies or more truthfully murdered. He may have died a soldier's death, honorably- while fighting in battle. The fact that David puts Uriah in the front line where the bible says is where the "valiant men fought" (2 Sam 11:16) showed me that Uriah may have not been the strongest fighter in the pack but he was a little guy purposely put  in dangers way at the front line.


Uriah was completely innocent! He died thinking that he was fighting on behalf of a loyal king who respected him. He had no clue that the king stole his wife, planned his death and used him to carry out his own death warrant. David's sin didn't stop after one, his sin snowballed into successive sins- each numbed him even more than the previous- to the point that he was so blind about his sin that he even didn't recognize he was sinning!


our sins affect the people around us and they affect the relationship we have with the people around us negatively. 


The sins I commit today are not only hurting my relationship with God, but it's hurting the relationship I have with my mother, my father, my sister, my friend, or even you who is reading this. I hope this serves as a reminder to you and to me in the constant struggle to overcome certain sins in life. I know that God is not pleased with the sins I commit but my sins affect others who are on the outside just about the same as it affects me on the inside. That's a sobering thought. I need to remember this the next time I'm tempted to sin.  Is my sin going to lead to other sins that snowball into more sins? (more likely, yes) and like icy snow- will these sins create a numbness around my soul that prevents me from feeling the sting of sinning? (most likely, yes) How is this sin going to affect my relationship to others around me? (think about it.)  I pray I can truly turn away from a sin when I ask for forgiveness for my sins by thinking about the consequences of my sin the next time I'm presented with the temptation.


I'll leave you with David's cry once he realized exactly what happened as a result of his sin and who he hurt while sinning.


Psalm 51(NASB)

 ¹ Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
² Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
³ For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
⁴ Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.

 ⁵ Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
⁶ Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
⁷ Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
⁸ Make me to hear joy and gladness,
Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
⁹ Hide Your face from my sins
And blot out all my iniquities.

 ¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me away from Your presence
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.
¹³ Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners will be converted to You.

 ¹⁴ Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation;
Then my tongue will joyfully sing of Your righteousness.
¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
That my mouth may declare Your praise.
¹⁶ For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it;
You are not pleased with burnt offering.
¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

 ¹⁸ By Your favor do good to Zion;
Build the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then You will delight in righteous sacrifices,
In burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
Then young bulls will be offered on Your altar.


There's the David I'm familiar with! The sinner who is still a man after God's own heart. Find the whole story in 2 Samuel 11!
Take care.