Undeserving

Leeland- "Carried To The Table"

So, I'm in the middle of my third year of college and at the end of my spring break. These past couple of months have made me think about all that I have and how little I deserve it. I'm not sure if it was learning of the famine in Niger early last year or becoming more aware or attuned to the hurting people around me- on my drive to school, at work, and at school that made me realize how many things I have that I didn't work for. The more I realize how little those who don't have the joy of knowing Christ have, I realize how blessed I am and how undeserving I am of all that I have- including the grace shown upon me from my Lord. A few material blessings I am undeserving of are: the little lamp on this desk that's lighting my room so that I can see my keyboard to type, the heater I have blasting right next to me because my feet are cold, the food I ate today- I really don't deserve any of it. I didn't work for it, I don't deserve these things any more than a child in Congo does. It's truly a mystery to me for why God chose for me to sit here in such undeserving luxuries that I so often take for granted. I'm not saying this in a boasting way or to show that I have anything more than others- I am simply recounting all the things I have that I take for granted.

I haven't thought this much about my undeserving-ness (yes, I know that's not a real word) much until the past few months. I've always heard people say the phrases- "take a break, you deserve it." or "you deserve what's best" and not to put a damper on words that make people feel good but I've been thinking- honestly, the only thing I've actually ever deserved is death.....hell to be more precise. I'm a sinner and the wages I've earned is death! Lol I just might have lost all hopes of giving a pep-speech to anyone....But anyways, as I've slowly finished my first and rather brief walk through the Old Testament, and as I step into the New Testament, I've been moving through Matthew and also taking sneak peeks into the book of Romans. But as I move along, I notice that I've been stuck on a certain passage for the past couple of weeks, that in times past, I've only raced through not thinking twice about it let alone understanding it. It's tucked away in the 15th chapter of Mathew in between verses 21-28:

²¹ Jesus went away from there, and withdrew into the district of Tyre and Sidon. ²² And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed.” ²³ But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, “Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.” ²⁴ But He answered and said, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” ²⁵ But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” ²⁶ And He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” ²⁷ But she said, “Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” ²⁸ Then Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed at once.

I stopped at this little section and as I stood, I realized that I was really confused at what just happened. I remember reading on into the next few chapters but thinking back I realize that I didn't get what was going on nor why Jesus was doing the things He did. It seemed out of character- Jesus ignoring this woman who is crying out for the Lord to heal her daughter. Why was He not answering her a word? Almost worse, why did He later compare her to a dog? In my confusion I started digging.
She was a Canaanite. Hmm does that give any clues or explain anything, Jerry? She was....an outsider, a Gentile- not part of the "commonwealth of Israel"- God's chosen people. So Jesus didn't answer to her cries; well, Jesus doesn't have to answer to anyone's cries (but God is merciful and He does). In this instance, Jesus waits without replying to her cries. So the disciples urge Jesus to do something like send her away because of all the ruckus she's making and Jesus (knowing that the disciples would have said something) instead replies, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." Now when I read this, I thought wow this seems pretty exclusive- Christ being sent only to the people of Israel- but then I realized I wasn't thinking about the whole picture. I was reminded of how the book of Matthew was written to paint a picture of Christ as the promised Messiah that the Jews would believe. So I kept reading until I stopped again hopelessly confused when the woman starts worshiping before Him and requests Jesus to help her. Jesus replies, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." Here is where I stopped to think, Oh Lord, are you calling her a dog? As my hands held my Bible open, my eyes drifted to the bottom of the page where the commentary notes were written. As I looked for some guidance on this "dog" term, I read the following, "The lost sheep of the house of Israel must be fed before the "little dogs"- Christ employed a word here that speaks of a family pet. His words with this woman are not to be understood as harsh or unfeeling."
Oh, I breathed with a sigh of relief, my Lord isn't calling her a dog in a demeaning way- no He is communicating with her the radical truth that she is someone who had no chance to sit at the King's table and reap the benefits of being the child of a King. She replies, "Yes, Lord; but even the little pets feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table."

Wow, - she understands that she is a person who is interacting with a King, she doesn't deserve what she is asking for, yet in faith she asks despite her undeserving-ness. Despite what she knows she deserves, perhaps no chance of ever interacting with a Holy God let alone receive favor for her and healing for her daughter, she asks- hoping to receive GRACE, unmerited favor from the promised Messiah. Would I expect anything less from my Lord? He heals her daughter at once/immediately/within the very hour. No wonder why Christ is calling out her great faith.

If this isn't a better parallel to the thoughts going on in my head, I don't know what else is. I can sit here putting my feet in the dusty sandals of this Canaanite woman wondering at how such an undeserving person is able to receive such unmerited grace and favor from such a Holy God. I can think back to the Old Testament times when it was only the priests who were able to enter into the Holy Place to enjoy the presence of God, offer sacrifices and worship Him. Another picture of this unmerited favor shown on someone who was never expected to deserve it is seen in 2 Samuel 9 where King David carries Mephibosheth, the lame man, to the King's table to eat with him. Here, in the New Testament, this Canaanite woman is being carried to the table, after seeing how she was not part of Israel but still receiving grace and mercy from the Lord- what a beautiful picture of God's providential grace to all mankind- Jews and Gentiles alike. She didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it. She didn't work for it. I didn't work for it. This morning as I read Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." I was again reminded of this gift I didn't deserve. More important than the little lamp on this desk that's lighting my room so that I can see my keyboard to type, I now have the light of the world guiding my steps through this life. More important than the heater I have blasting right next to me because my feet are cold, I now have the healer who can melt my cold heart of stone. More important than the food I ate today, I have God's living word, the bread of life, my spiritual food that will endure forever. I take many things for granted but this one thing I have been reminded of is how important it is to not take my salvation for granted- for at one time I was not able to even step into the Holy Place, not able to know God or worship Him but He came and met me where I am, He decided to grant me, an undeserving sinner, unmerited grace and favor.

Some things that remind me of this wonderful gift that God has freely given me yet I didn't deserve:

1 Peter 2:10 "Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

Ephesians 2:11-13 "Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called “uncircumcised” by those who call themselves “the circumcision” (which is done in the body by human hands)— ¹² remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. ¹³ But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ."
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Ephesians 2: 19-22 "Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, ²⁰ built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. ²¹ In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²² And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."

1 John 3:1-3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ² Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. ³ All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

1. Years I spent in vanity and pride,
   Caring not my Lord was crucified,
   Knowing not it was for me He died
     On Calvary.
• Mercy there was great, and grace was free;
  Pardon there was multiplied to me;
  There my burdened soul found liberty,
      At Calvary.
2. By God’s Word at last my sin I learned;
   Then I trembled at the law I’d spurned,
   Till my guilty soul imploring turned
     To Calvary.
3. Now I’ve giv’n to Jesus everything,
   Now I gladly own Him as my King,
   Now my raptured soul can only sing
     Of Calvary.
4. Oh, the love that drew salvation’s plan!
   Oh, the grace that brought it down to man!
   Oh, the mighty gulf that God did span
     At Calvary!

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/342#ixzz2NCrVmlji

Watching Now...

Random picture to break up the videos. =)

Watching now...

Living the Faith We Defend with Ravi Zacharias

Matthew 10:8

"-Freely you have received, freely give." The little nugget at the end of the verse (context, Jesus giving instruction to the disciples to use the authority He gave them freely, willingly, and impartially.)

Note made: Some things that I have been freely given that I can give out freely:
-Forgiveness
-Love
-Mercy
The list goes on...
The three things I find hardest to give without partiality I myself have been given freely.

The next time I question on what basis to grant forgiveness or love or mercy, I really hope I remember this verse. The basis should be none because freely I have received, so freely I should give.

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."

                            

So, it's almost Christmas. Which means I'm on winter break. For the most part, my family doesn't go all out for Christmas. We usually put up lights outside and I'm sitting here staring at a tiny lit up Christmas tree on our window sill and that's about the extent of our Christmas celebration. We do get each other presents...sometimes....and I know better than to ask for presents because the last time I did, I ended up getting a lamp....haha true story. But luckily it was a very nice lamp given to me out of love and it currently sits on a desk in my room- the perfect accent piece. <--that's a little bit of the interior designer in me coming out. The only other thing other than gift giving is Christmas gives me the perfect excuse to eat cookies like a monster. Have I shared too much? I think so.

I'm on winter break now. Reflecting back, this past semester was a roller coaster ride. I felt like I went from 0 to 60 in the amount of exams and material to study. With each exam the amount of time to study for it felt shorter and shorter. Let's just say I'm glad this semester is over with. I'll say this year I am learning how to study. As this semester started I had ventured my way into 1 Chronicles. During this time, I was able to read through the life of David and his victories and shortcomings. He thought big and had big aspirations- 1 Chronicles 17:1 being just one out of many examples. Dwelling upon that idea of shortcomings, One thing that I started praying for was humility and God answered that prayer real quickly. I haven't even reached scratched the surface of true humility but God sure did show me in a matter of a weeks, throughout the course of one semester actually just how weak I am and just how BIG He is. One of my friends blogged a couple months ago about the same prayer request for humility he had and how God answered in a big way. One thing he wrote was he learned that "when you ask God to do something be ready for it to happen." Although for my friend, humility was a lesson learned while being on crutches, God decided to take me on a ride down Weakness Avenue. In the following weeks after that prayer, I was constantly reminded of my weaknesses and it was constant. Whether it was not doing well in school or realizing a lack of discipline in waking up early to study I realized how I constantly fell short of goals I set for myself. let alone how far short I fell while comparing myself to the God's standards If there's one thing that would keep me humble, it's that. I mean it's granted that no one is perfect but every so often I need the reminder that I had to be made perfect in the sight of God through the work of Christ. It's so easy for me to be critical of others but when God started reminding me of the "plank in my own eye" I'm realizing that how far short I fall when it comes to following even my own advice. So this post is not like my others in where I remind myself of what God has been telling me through His word, but it's more about what God has been teaching me through life these past weeks. One song that constantly replayed in my mind the weeks leading up to and following my request to God to show me His heart of humility was What Do I know of Holy by Addison Road. The words are so true, I really don't know anything about God or His holiness. I have only stood on the shore of the sea that He made let alone learn the depths of His love. So I know during this winter break I know God will continue to remind me of how weak I am and how frail my life really is to think I can figure it all out on my own. Because when things go wrong, I come running back to God knowing He is the only one that can fix it. The other day I hurt my back and although I found it comical that the words of Paul resounded in my head, "there was given me a thorn in the flesh" but as that phrase kept resonating in my head, I realized how true the rest of that chapter is.

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
- 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
This past semester, I fell asleep early and woke up late, I missed important quizzes, I did poorly on exams after studying hard (or so I thought)...there were a great number of other weaknesses I discovered which all served as instruments in letting me learn just slightly how big God really is. Even after messing up badly in school this semester, God truly made a miracle for me when I brought my weaknesses to Him and asked Him to be my strength and carry me through. I honestly just don't understand what God would see in a piece of dust to help me dig myself out of the hole I so often put myself into. It's really these moments when I see how weak I am that I realize who exactly God is and how big He is. So yeah, my last post of the year and it's basically me saying I don't know squat about anything except that God is big. How big exactly? I hope to learn more about that in the coming year.


A few sidebars of non-pharmacy related lessons learned on campus:

1. For a few months after arriving early most mornings at my school's cafeteria, I started thanking to a cleaning lady. I had hoped that I would be able to encourage her by letting her know that what she does is noticed and appreciated. I also started praying that God would open up an opportunity for me to share the Gospel to her. And so one morning as I arrived early, I proceeded to mention what God had been teaching me to her and she exclaimed, "Oh! My husband and I read a verse about that at our Bible study last week!" I was stunned. (Although I probably shouldn't have been) But God certainly taught me that if I take the time out to just talk to people, those people may even serve as sources of encouragement to me in a school where a majority aren't believers. It was still pretty cool, expecting to have to search for a way to share the good news of Christ while this lady already believed it! I met a new sister in Christ who encourages me and is the first person I see on campus every morning!

2. Tell the Truth.
As I stated earlier, this semester I started to learn all about my weaknesses. One of those said weaknesses caused me to actually contemplate lying to the teacher about a situation I had gotten myself into in the hopes of getting a quick fix. The major battle I had to face was deciding to fess up and admit to my weakness or lie about it and cover it all up. But God was faithful in reminding me every moment I contemplated sinning of what happened when David tried to cover up his own mistakes with lies and how it snowballed into many more sins. I felt like I was in a free-fall after deciding to tell the truth about the situation but God reminded me to obey Him no matter what the cost and trust Him with the consequences. After I saw how beautifully He delivered me when I told the truth, I realized how silly it was of me to even consider lying about it in the first place- weakness noted Jerry, so when stuck in a rut, even if you yourself created the rut, it's better to just be honest.

This year has been a roller coaster ride but to sum it up in a few lines:

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees.

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.............

1) "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

2) "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.....but you give him salt to make him thirsty!"

For the past couple of weeks, I have been thinking a lot about this quote and for the past couple of weeks, I have also been getting bombarded with reoccurring thoughts about salt. I read the second quote a couple months ago and a few weeks later, I heard a message at a wedding about salt and just how important salt is in life whether it be the perfect spice to add to food or a great preservative or a valuable tool for trade and covenant making (Numbers 18:19). The importance of salt isn't too hard to understand and it has been important even in Old Testament times as seen in God's first instructions on how to prepare certain offerings whether it did or did not included salt. (Leviticus 2:13, Ezekiel 43:24 etc.) Basically salt, though its small and common, is truly fascinating. I'm sure a study of salt's history and uses wouldn't be a short one. The Bible itself has MANY references to salt...and I mean many. You can google something like "bible verses with salt" and you'll see the list- for such a small thing, it's pretty important.

I have always often just heard the first version of the quote which says, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." And I'll admit, I've thought of this quote in relation to evangelism before...and it is a bit discouraging. Sometimes one can feel like there is no point in continually leading the horse to water if he/she isn't gonna drink but this is where the Wisdom of God is revealed in my foolishness!

In Matthew 5:13, God says "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."

Here is where I was reminded of the second version of the quote: "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.....but you give him salt to make him thirsty!"

My life is supposed to be that salt that causes the world to thirst for God- a relationship with Him and a knowledge of Him.

Being salt doesn't mean I can make or should make someone drink. That was never the point. My job is simply to be salt!....To add salt to that person's every day life so that he/she would THIRST for God! It sounds so simple yet how easily I forget this.

Call me a fanciful thinker but sometimes I wonder if God had this quote in mind when saying that the believers were to be the salt of the world. It's very true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink- and that's okay because that's not my job! I wanna be salty. (<-- that's my lame pun on the phrase "salty".) I'm also learning that being salt really requires a step of faith in trusting God to carry out HIS purpose. It's not about how salty I am, it's about how good God is.

Just give the people salt so the people will THIRST for LIVING water! I've heard the first quote many times without the additional ending and I gotta say the addition, though it is so simple, has made a great difference. Isn't God's wisdom so marvelous that He (purposefully and knowingly) uses simple things like salt as a picture of the believer's role in the world?

"Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" 1 Corinthians 1:20

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

Gotta roll up the sleeves and get a little dirty

Thunderstorms used to scare me. I would be terrified of the loud noise and hope that when I came up out of the covers the noise would be gone. Right now as I look outside my living room window, the sun is brightly shining in all its glory. But I also see rain drops falling and I hear thunder... but its completely sunny outside! How pretty.

I've been trying to gather all the things floating around in my head from messages heard within the past month and Bible verses or chapters read from certain books to make some kinda sense out of them. Sometimes there's just so much going on in my head I need a couple weeks to figure out exactly what I've been reading or studying. Over the past month and a half, I've walked into the book of Jeremiah in the Bible. In the midst of this I've also placed aside my usual reading book and started a separate book titled One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven by Mark Cahill (which I highly recommend). I feel like I have reading ADHD! I don't usually put aside one book to start another but for some reason I did this time. Throw into it the mix of messages I heard at a Christian conference in July and it all starts to get a little confusing and a bit jumbled up in my mind, well, until I started thinking about it all. These past couple of weeks following the conference, I've been thinking about these questions that someone posed: "What if Jesus really meant what He said? What if God is serious about what He says in the Bible? And what are we gonna do about it?" Now of course, the obvious answer is certainly God is very serious about every single word He authored in His Word, the Bible!! But even knowing that, I know I don't live as if I know this oh-so-obvious truth.

Now with constantly having that in the back of my mind, I've been reading Jeremiah. I've come across this repetitive situation (literally from chapters 34 to 47 so far) between God and the people of Judah. God tells them that if they do a certain thing, there will be bad consequences such as being conquered by King Nebuchadnezzar. But the people of Judah, knowing this obvious truth spoken from the mouth of God himself through the prophet Jeremiah, refuse to believe God's words and instead, they regard God's truth as a lie. They do exactly what God told them would bring them bad consequences (like being conquered) and then they blame God for the consequences! Reading this has made me really think about the fact that- what God says He will do, He does.

When God says He's going to do something, He does it!

Now with constantly having that in the back of my mind, I've been reading the book One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven. Mark goes through various practical ways to witness and actually do what we Christians are commanded to do-spread the Good News! The way he uses real life witnessing examples are very encouraging to someone like me who rarely witnesses to strangers. I mean if what God means what He says about His ability to make us fishers of men, then I should be letting out my net for a catch right? Sometimes reading Cahill's encounters make me wonder why I am so timid when it comes to sharing my faith. Even last week at work a coworker asked me about my belief on a certain faith based issue and I felt timid sharing my Christian view fearing rejection or being rebutted so hard I wouldn't be able to answer. But I was really being scared of nothing-I feared a lie the devil uses constantly to keep us Christians afraid and shy away from boldly stating what God says as truth. But something Cahill said about witnessing made me think in a way that I never did before:
[start of excerpt from Cahill's book]
"What are the only three possible things that can happen when we share our faith?
1) the person can accept Jesus Christ
2) the person can reject Jesus Christ
3) we can plant a seed
After we talked about these possibilities we came up with a chart that looked like this:

ACCEPT	PLANT SEED	REJECT
Good	Good	Bad
Winning	Winning	Losing

We determined that accepting Jesus was a good situation, planting a seed was a good situation and someone rejecting Jesus was a bad situation. Another way to look at it was that accepting Jesus was a winning situation, planting a seed was a winning situation and being rejected was a losing situation. We concluded that 66% of the time that we share our faith it is a winning situation. Aren't those pretty good odds? Two-thirds of the time that we share our faith, we literally can't lose! But the next day, God spoke to my heart like never before. I was reading 1 Peter 4:14 which says, "If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye: On their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified." Just think about that for a moment. If we ever got rejected in the name of Jesus, we will be blessed and the glory of God will rest upon us. If you could have the glory of God shine in your life and be reflected onto others, would you want that? We all would as much as possible! One way that will happen is if we are rejected in the name of Jesus. God wasn't done with me yet. Luke 6:22-23 says, "Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in Heaven: for in the like manner did their forefathers unto the prophets." After God showed me these two verses, I realized I had been mistaken about my previous chart. I'd said we had a 66% chance of a winning situation when we share our faith. Now that we know those two verses, let's see how the chart changes,

ACCEPT	PLANT SEED	REJECT
Good	Good	Good
Winning	Winning	Winning

." [end excerpt from the book]

Wow right??! Every time I share my faith, it's a winning situation! I never thought about it like that before.
I've actually never thought this intensely on these three things before: the fact that God regards what He says in His Word seriously (things heard from conference) so I should do the same also. I'm also thinking about the fact that when God says He will do something, He does it (things seen in book of Jeremiah). I'm also considering the things God has been convicting my heart of as I've been reading Cahill's book.

As I got ready this morning to go for a hair cut appointment, I decided to bring my One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven book along with me to read while I got my hair cut. While driving in the car, I prayed that God would give me a spirit of courage and not timidity (2 Timothy 1:7) to either place tracts on the cars parked in the parking lot of the mall or even be able to bodly share Christ in a conversation with the hairstylist who would cut my hair. I remember thinking in my head, Lord I'm not really sure how I would even start a conversation about you...I don't want her to be freaked out if the first thing I asked her when I sat down in the chair was, "If God-forbid you were to die today, where do you think you would be?" So God, it would be pretty cool if the hair lady started a conversation with me about my book, that would actually give me a way to talk about you and share my faith. As I arrived in the parking lot five minutes late to my hair cutting appointment, I ran from my car to the mall, past all the other cars that I had hoped to put tracts on. I sat down in the waiting area where I saw the hair dresser working on another client. So I thought why not read my book? Ten minutes later, a young woman came up to me and told me she would be washing my hair today. I remember praying God, help me. So I followed her to the chair and sat down with my purse and book in hand. We talked about hair products and how the business for the day was going. Before I knew it, the wash was done and she said another lady would be over to cut my hair. I remember thinking, well way to blow it Jerry, you didn't say a word to her! The hairstylist came over and asked me what I wanted done to my hair. So I focused my attention the next couple of minutes on explaining to her exactly what I wanted done to my hairs. She started separating my hair and started cutting and I resumed my attention to reading more of my book. Moments later...
"So uh, what kinda book ya reading there? Any good stuff in there??"
I was stunned and as I had a smile on my face I lost words for a second while praying Oh dear God please help me...and oh boy, Lord, are you good!
I replied, "It's a great book! It's making me think a lot about heaven. Especially after the whole Colorado incident- crazy right?"
She agreed "I know right, even scarier thinking how that could happen just about anywhere." After looking for a way to start, I decided to take the dive, so I asked, "Hey, lemme ask you something, let's say you and I were in that theater that night, and if we weren't one of the survivors, where do you think you would be?" She stopped to think for a while and said, "Hmm, well I don't really believe in a hell but I would hope I would be somewhere like heaven!" So I asked her, well you believe in God right? She replied, "Yes, I mean did you see the huge cross tattooed on my arm? And I went to catholic school when I was younger but with all the different religions out there like Catholicism and Christianity even though they're similar they're very different, so how can ya really know which one is right?" I remember thinking wow God, you're really opening doors here! So I asked her, "Well, let's say you weren't a survivor and now you're facing God and he's asking you, "Why should I let you into my heaven?" That made her think for a while and she replied, "well I would hope to say I've done the best with the life I was given." So I asked her if she was familiar with the Ten Commandments and she said "ofcourse!" So I asked her, well let's see if by God's standards if you and I would be good enough to get into heaven. "Have you ever lied?"
"Well, yeah of course I have." She replied.
So I asked, "Well what does that make you and me?"
"Sinners" She said
"Well, let's not go that far, we're liars right?" I said
"Yeah, we're liars" She replied.
"Well have you ever stolen, even if it's a small pen?"
She replied, "Well yeah! TD bank has some awesome pens and I take a couple every time I go in there!" We laughed and I got back to the next question, "Jesus said that if we lust after a person in our hearts we are committing adultery with them, have you ever lusted after a person?"
She replied, "Yeah of course I have done that, who hasn't!"
So I said, "Well, by you and I right now by our own...(here is where I lost the right word and she actually finished the sentence for me!)
"By our own admission...." she said
I replied, "Yeah! By our own admission, we just said we're lying, thieving, adulterers. Now when God looks at you after you die where do you think you'll be going?" She stopped cutting my hair and said, "Wow, I guess I wouldn't have much to say."

We had a wonderful conversation about what the Lord did for the both of us on the cross of Calvary 2000 years ago when Christ divided history! (B.C. and A.D hehe) I could tell she was really listening because every once in a while I would lose my train of thought and she would remind me what I was saying! After my hair cut, I handed the her a tract and the lady said she really enjoyed the conversation! She had even told me that her roommate in college was a believer who had been converted from being a Jehovah's witness and she remembers her roommate not being persuaded to do wrong things! What a great testimony her roommate left even before I was able to mention Christ to her!! I'm not sure what she will do with the words that were spoken to her but I am comforted by knowing that whatever happens, seeds have been planted- it is a winning situation!

Boy, what a wake up call. I'm reminded to stop sitting around and to roll up my sleeves and get in the ring. I remember thinking wow that was truly something! But I shouldn't have been surprised- it really was proof that God is serious about His word and when God says He'll do something, He really does it! He supplied me with words and an opportunity today to do what I should be seeking to do everyday. Praise God! He really backs up His Words with His mighty deeds!