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Living the Faith We Defend with Ravi Zacharias

Matthew 10:8

"-Freely you have received, freely give." The little nugget at the end of the verse (context, Jesus giving instruction to the disciples to use the authority He gave them freely, willingly, and impartially.)

Note made: Some things that I have been freely given that I can give out freely:
-Forgiveness
-Love
-Mercy
The list goes on...
The three things I find hardest to give without partiality I myself have been given freely.

The next time I question on what basis to grant forgiveness or love or mercy, I really hope I remember this verse. The basis should be none because freely I have received, so freely I should give.

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."

                            

So, it's almost Christmas. Which means I'm on winter break. For the most part, my family doesn't go all out for Christmas. We usually put up lights outside and I'm sitting here staring at a tiny lit up Christmas tree on our window sill and that's about the extent of our Christmas celebration. We do get each other presents...sometimes....and I know better than to ask for presents because the last time I did, I ended up getting a lamp....haha true story. But luckily it was a very nice lamp given to me out of love and it currently sits on a desk in my room- the perfect accent piece. <--that's a little bit of the interior designer in me coming out. The only other thing other than gift giving is Christmas gives me the perfect excuse to eat cookies like a monster. Have I shared too much? I think so.

I'm on winter break now. Reflecting back, this past semester was a roller coaster ride. I felt like I went from 0 to 60 in the amount of exams and material to study. With each exam the amount of time to study for it felt shorter and shorter. Let's just say I'm glad this semester is over with. I'll say this year I am learning how to study. As this semester started I had ventured my way into 1 Chronicles. During this time, I was able to read through the life of David and his victories and shortcomings. He thought big and had big aspirations- 1 Chronicles 17:1 being just one out of many examples. Dwelling upon that idea of shortcomings, One thing that I started praying for was humility and God answered that prayer real quickly. I haven't even reached scratched the surface of true humility but God sure did show me in a matter of a weeks, throughout the course of one semester actually just how weak I am and just how BIG He is. One of my friends blogged a couple months ago about the same prayer request for humility he had and how God answered in a big way. One thing he wrote was he learned that "when you ask God to do something be ready for it to happen." Although for my friend, humility was a lesson learned while being on crutches, God decided to take me on a ride down Weakness Avenue. In the following weeks after that prayer, I was constantly reminded of my weaknesses and it was constant. Whether it was not doing well in school or realizing a lack of discipline in waking up early to study I realized how I constantly fell short of goals I set for myself. let alone how far short I fell while comparing myself to the God's standards If there's one thing that would keep me humble, it's that. I mean it's granted that no one is perfect but every so often I need the reminder that I had to be made perfect in the sight of God through the work of Christ. It's so easy for me to be critical of others but when God started reminding me of the "plank in my own eye" I'm realizing that how far short I fall when it comes to following even my own advice. So this post is not like my others in where I remind myself of what God has been telling me through His word, but it's more about what God has been teaching me through life these past weeks. One song that constantly replayed in my mind the weeks leading up to and following my request to God to show me His heart of humility was What Do I know of Holy by Addison Road. The words are so true, I really don't know anything about God or His holiness. I have only stood on the shore of the sea that He made let alone learn the depths of His love. So I know during this winter break I know God will continue to remind me of how weak I am and how frail my life really is to think I can figure it all out on my own. Because when things go wrong, I come running back to God knowing He is the only one that can fix it. The other day I hurt my back and although I found it comical that the words of Paul resounded in my head, "there was given me a thorn in the flesh" but as that phrase kept resonating in my head, I realized how true the rest of that chapter is.

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
- 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
This past semester, I fell asleep early and woke up late, I missed important quizzes, I did poorly on exams after studying hard (or so I thought)...there were a great number of other weaknesses I discovered which all served as instruments in letting me learn just slightly how big God really is. Even after messing up badly in school this semester, God truly made a miracle for me when I brought my weaknesses to Him and asked Him to be my strength and carry me through. I honestly just don't understand what God would see in a piece of dust to help me dig myself out of the hole I so often put myself into. It's really these moments when I see how weak I am that I realize who exactly God is and how big He is. So yeah, my last post of the year and it's basically me saying I don't know squat about anything except that God is big. How big exactly? I hope to learn more about that in the coming year.


A few sidebars of non-pharmacy related lessons learned on campus:

1. For a few months after arriving early most mornings at my school's cafeteria, I started thanking to a cleaning lady. I had hoped that I would be able to encourage her by letting her know that what she does is noticed and appreciated. I also started praying that God would open up an opportunity for me to share the Gospel to her. And so one morning as I arrived early, I proceeded to mention what God had been teaching me to her and she exclaimed, "Oh! My husband and I read a verse about that at our Bible study last week!" I was stunned. (Although I probably shouldn't have been) But God certainly taught me that if I take the time out to just talk to people, those people may even serve as sources of encouragement to me in a school where a majority aren't believers. It was still pretty cool, expecting to have to search for a way to share the good news of Christ while this lady already believed it! I met a new sister in Christ who encourages me and is the first person I see on campus every morning!

2. Tell the Truth.
As I stated earlier, this semester I started to learn all about my weaknesses. One of those said weaknesses caused me to actually contemplate lying to the teacher about a situation I had gotten myself into in the hopes of getting a quick fix. The major battle I had to face was deciding to fess up and admit to my weakness or lie about it and cover it all up. But God was faithful in reminding me every moment I contemplated sinning of what happened when David tried to cover up his own mistakes with lies and how it snowballed into many more sins. I felt like I was in a free-fall after deciding to tell the truth about the situation but God reminded me to obey Him no matter what the cost and trust Him with the consequences. After I saw how beautifully He delivered me when I told the truth, I realized how silly it was of me to even consider lying about it in the first place- weakness noted Jerry, so when stuck in a rut, even if you yourself created the rut, it's better to just be honest.

This year has been a roller coaster ride but to sum it up in a few lines:

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees.

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.............

1) "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

2) "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.....but you give him salt to make him thirsty!"

For the past couple of weeks, I have been thinking a lot about this quote and for the past couple of weeks, I have also been getting bombarded with reoccurring thoughts about salt. I read the second quote a couple months ago and a few weeks later, I heard a message at a wedding about salt and just how important salt is in life whether it be the perfect spice to add to food or a great preservative or a valuable tool for trade and covenant making (Numbers 18:19). The importance of salt isn't too hard to understand and it has been important even in Old Testament times as seen in God's first instructions on how to prepare certain offerings whether it did or did not included salt. (Leviticus 2:13, Ezekiel 43:24 etc.) Basically salt, though its small and common, is truly fascinating. I'm sure a study of salt's history and uses wouldn't be a short one. The Bible itself has MANY references to salt...and I mean many. You can google something like "bible verses with salt" and you'll see the list- for such a small thing, it's pretty important.

I have always often just heard the first version of the quote which says, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." And I'll admit, I've thought of this quote in relation to evangelism before...and it is a bit discouraging. Sometimes one can feel like there is no point in continually leading the horse to water if he/she isn't gonna drink but this is where the Wisdom of God is revealed in my foolishness!

In Matthew 5:13, God says "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."

Here is where I was reminded of the second version of the quote: "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.....but you give him salt to make him thirsty!"

My life is supposed to be that salt that causes the world to thirst for God- a relationship with Him and a knowledge of Him.

Being salt doesn't mean I can make or should make someone drink. That was never the point. My job is simply to be salt!....To add salt to that person's every day life so that he/she would THIRST for God! It sounds so simple yet how easily I forget this.

Call me a fanciful thinker but sometimes I wonder if God had this quote in mind when saying that the believers were to be the salt of the world. It's very true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink- and that's okay because that's not my job! I wanna be salty. (<-- that's my lame pun on the phrase "salty".) I'm also learning that being salt really requires a step of faith in trusting God to carry out HIS purpose. It's not about how salty I am, it's about how good God is.

Just give the people salt so the people will THIRST for LIVING water! I've heard the first quote many times without the additional ending and I gotta say the addition, though it is so simple, has made a great difference. Isn't God's wisdom so marvelous that He (purposefully and knowingly) uses simple things like salt as a picture of the believer's role in the world?

"Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" 1 Corinthians 1:20

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

Gotta roll up the sleeves and get a little dirty

Thunderstorms used to scare me. I would be terrified of the loud noise and hope that when I came up out of the covers the noise would be gone. Right now as I look outside my living room window, the sun is brightly shining in all its glory. But I also see rain drops falling and I hear thunder... but its completely sunny outside! How pretty.

I've been trying to gather all the things floating around in my head from messages heard within the past month and Bible verses or chapters read from certain books to make some kinda sense out of them. Sometimes there's just so much going on in my head I need a couple weeks to figure out exactly what I've been reading or studying. Over the past month and a half, I've walked into the book of Jeremiah in the Bible. In the midst of this I've also placed aside my usual reading book and started a separate book titled One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven by Mark Cahill (which I highly recommend). I feel like I have reading ADHD! I don't usually put aside one book to start another but for some reason I did this time. Throw into it the mix of messages I heard at a Christian conference in July and it all starts to get a little confusing and a bit jumbled up in my mind, well, until I started thinking about it all. These past couple of weeks following the conference, I've been thinking about these questions that someone posed: "What if Jesus really meant what He said? What if God is serious about what He says in the Bible? And what are we gonna do about it?" Now of course, the obvious answer is certainly God is very serious about every single word He authored in His Word, the Bible!! But even knowing that, I know I don't live as if I know this oh-so-obvious truth.

Now with constantly having that in the back of my mind, I've been reading Jeremiah. I've come across this repetitive situation (literally from chapters 34 to 47 so far) between God and the people of Judah. God tells them that if they do a certain thing, there will be bad consequences such as being conquered by King Nebuchadnezzar. But the people of Judah, knowing this obvious truth spoken from the mouth of God himself through the prophet Jeremiah, refuse to believe God's words and instead, they regard God's truth as a lie. They do exactly what God told them would bring them bad consequences (like being conquered) and then they blame God for the consequences! Reading this has made me really think about the fact that- what God says He will do, He does.

When God says He's going to do something, He does it!

Now with constantly having that in the back of my mind, I've been reading the book One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven. Mark goes through various practical ways to witness and actually do what we Christians are commanded to do-spread the Good News! The way he uses real life witnessing examples are very encouraging to someone like me who rarely witnesses to strangers. I mean if what God means what He says about His ability to make us fishers of men, then I should be letting out my net for a catch right? Sometimes reading Cahill's encounters make me wonder why I am so timid when it comes to sharing my faith. Even last week at work a coworker asked me about my belief on a certain faith based issue and I felt timid sharing my Christian view fearing rejection or being rebutted so hard I wouldn't be able to answer. But I was really being scared of nothing-I feared a lie the devil uses constantly to keep us Christians afraid and shy away from boldly stating what God says as truth. But something Cahill said about witnessing made me think in a way that I never did before:
[start of excerpt from Cahill's book]
"What are the only three possible things that can happen when we share our faith?
1) the person can accept Jesus Christ
2) the person can reject Jesus Christ
3) we can plant a seed
After we talked about these possibilities we came up with a chart that looked like this:

ACCEPT	PLANT SEED	REJECT
Good	Good	Bad
Winning	Winning	Losing

We determined that accepting Jesus was a good situation, planting a seed was a good situation and someone rejecting Jesus was a bad situation. Another way to look at it was that accepting Jesus was a winning situation, planting a seed was a winning situation and being rejected was a losing situation. We concluded that 66% of the time that we share our faith it is a winning situation. Aren't those pretty good odds? Two-thirds of the time that we share our faith, we literally can't lose! But the next day, God spoke to my heart like never before. I was reading 1 Peter 4:14 which says, "If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye: On their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified." Just think about that for a moment. If we ever got rejected in the name of Jesus, we will be blessed and the glory of God will rest upon us. If you could have the glory of God shine in your life and be reflected onto others, would you want that? We all would as much as possible! One way that will happen is if we are rejected in the name of Jesus. God wasn't done with me yet. Luke 6:22-23 says, "Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in Heaven: for in the like manner did their forefathers unto the prophets." After God showed me these two verses, I realized I had been mistaken about my previous chart. I'd said we had a 66% chance of a winning situation when we share our faith. Now that we know those two verses, let's see how the chart changes,

ACCEPT	PLANT SEED	REJECT
Good	Good	Good
Winning	Winning	Winning

." [end excerpt from the book]

Wow right??! Every time I share my faith, it's a winning situation! I never thought about it like that before.
I've actually never thought this intensely on these three things before: the fact that God regards what He says in His Word seriously (things heard from conference) so I should do the same also. I'm also thinking about the fact that when God says He will do something, He does it (things seen in book of Jeremiah). I'm also considering the things God has been convicting my heart of as I've been reading Cahill's book.

As I got ready this morning to go for a hair cut appointment, I decided to bring my One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven book along with me to read while I got my hair cut. While driving in the car, I prayed that God would give me a spirit of courage and not timidity (2 Timothy 1:7) to either place tracts on the cars parked in the parking lot of the mall or even be able to bodly share Christ in a conversation with the hairstylist who would cut my hair. I remember thinking in my head, Lord I'm not really sure how I would even start a conversation about you...I don't want her to be freaked out if the first thing I asked her when I sat down in the chair was, "If God-forbid you were to die today, where do you think you would be?" So God, it would be pretty cool if the hair lady started a conversation with me about my book, that would actually give me a way to talk about you and share my faith. As I arrived in the parking lot five minutes late to my hair cutting appointment, I ran from my car to the mall, past all the other cars that I had hoped to put tracts on. I sat down in the waiting area where I saw the hair dresser working on another client. So I thought why not read my book? Ten minutes later, a young woman came up to me and told me she would be washing my hair today. I remember praying God, help me. So I followed her to the chair and sat down with my purse and book in hand. We talked about hair products and how the business for the day was going. Before I knew it, the wash was done and she said another lady would be over to cut my hair. I remember thinking, well way to blow it Jerry, you didn't say a word to her! The hairstylist came over and asked me what I wanted done to my hair. So I focused my attention the next couple of minutes on explaining to her exactly what I wanted done to my hairs. She started separating my hair and started cutting and I resumed my attention to reading more of my book. Moments later...
"So uh, what kinda book ya reading there? Any good stuff in there??"
I was stunned and as I had a smile on my face I lost words for a second while praying Oh dear God please help me...and oh boy, Lord, are you good!
I replied, "It's a great book! It's making me think a lot about heaven. Especially after the whole Colorado incident- crazy right?"
She agreed "I know right, even scarier thinking how that could happen just about anywhere." After looking for a way to start, I decided to take the dive, so I asked, "Hey, lemme ask you something, let's say you and I were in that theater that night, and if we weren't one of the survivors, where do you think you would be?" She stopped to think for a while and said, "Hmm, well I don't really believe in a hell but I would hope I would be somewhere like heaven!" So I asked her, well you believe in God right? She replied, "Yes, I mean did you see the huge cross tattooed on my arm? And I went to catholic school when I was younger but with all the different religions out there like Catholicism and Christianity even though they're similar they're very different, so how can ya really know which one is right?" I remember thinking wow God, you're really opening doors here! So I asked her, "Well, let's say you weren't a survivor and now you're facing God and he's asking you, "Why should I let you into my heaven?" That made her think for a while and she replied, "well I would hope to say I've done the best with the life I was given." So I asked her if she was familiar with the Ten Commandments and she said "ofcourse!" So I asked her, well let's see if by God's standards if you and I would be good enough to get into heaven. "Have you ever lied?"
"Well, yeah of course I have." She replied.
So I asked, "Well what does that make you and me?"
"Sinners" She said
"Well, let's not go that far, we're liars right?" I said
"Yeah, we're liars" She replied.
"Well have you ever stolen, even if it's a small pen?"
She replied, "Well yeah! TD bank has some awesome pens and I take a couple every time I go in there!" We laughed and I got back to the next question, "Jesus said that if we lust after a person in our hearts we are committing adultery with them, have you ever lusted after a person?"
She replied, "Yeah of course I have done that, who hasn't!"
So I said, "Well, by you and I right now by our own...(here is where I lost the right word and she actually finished the sentence for me!)
"By our own admission...." she said
I replied, "Yeah! By our own admission, we just said we're lying, thieving, adulterers. Now when God looks at you after you die where do you think you'll be going?" She stopped cutting my hair and said, "Wow, I guess I wouldn't have much to say."

We had a wonderful conversation about what the Lord did for the both of us on the cross of Calvary 2000 years ago when Christ divided history! (B.C. and A.D hehe) I could tell she was really listening because every once in a while I would lose my train of thought and she would remind me what I was saying! After my hair cut, I handed the her a tract and the lady said she really enjoyed the conversation! She had even told me that her roommate in college was a believer who had been converted from being a Jehovah's witness and she remembers her roommate not being persuaded to do wrong things! What a great testimony her roommate left even before I was able to mention Christ to her!! I'm not sure what she will do with the words that were spoken to her but I am comforted by knowing that whatever happens, seeds have been planted- it is a winning situation!

Boy, what a wake up call. I'm reminded to stop sitting around and to roll up my sleeves and get in the ring. I remember thinking wow that was truly something! But I shouldn't have been surprised- it really was proof that God is serious about His word and when God says He'll do something, He really does it! He supplied me with words and an opportunity today to do what I should be seeking to do everyday. Praise God! He really backs up His Words with His mighty deeds!

Trying to Reminisce with a Mental Memory Card

Ahhhh, home. After two or so weeks of being away, I'm finally at "home".

During the course of one week, I had rested my head in three different states. Now that I'm home, I find myself reflecting on the past week. It was a crazy week full of planes and 12 hours on the open road. The only things I missed were July 4th fireworks and a hot plate of chorrr and mean curry. But what is particularly interesting about the trips I made is I don't have any pictures to remember it by.

I did bring my camera for the first place I visited (Tampa) but I didn't get a chance to use it much...and by the end of that trip I had made the decision to leave it at home for my trip to Indiana which was two days after I arrived home from Florida. I simply didn't find the need for it. Here at home is where I'm realizing the effects of that conscious decision I made. I now have to depend solely on my memories of last week....there are no pictures I have of certain memorable or funny moments that would usually be captured on a timeless microchip that can replay your favorite memories to you in an instant. I find myself at work sometimes reminiscing on small aspects of the road trip such as where we stopped to eat breakfast or what mountain range we drove past....sad to say it's strange having to use my actual memory to remember scenes of my life rather than having a tangible photograph to say "Look! Here's where we stopped on our drive through Ohio!" All that being said, being forced to remember scenes from my life served as a blessing in disguise: this whole *depending on my memory* thing has helped me realize just how much actually stuck in my head from the past week- the new faces I'd met and most importantly the lessons I'd learned. So at work the other day I was thinking about reflecting and recollecting my thoughts so that I might have one place where I can look back on it all.

Thinking back to Tampa, if there was one silly life lesson I'd have to remind myself of over again it would be-
1. Never leave your luggage unattended.
I remember leaving my Bible, handbag and my one and only carry on luggage bag, which had all my things for the whole weekend, at a table during a dinner at a church one night when I got called into another room for a meeting. I came back one hour later to find the dining hall deserted and my bags gone! Weirdly enough my handbag and Bible was kept right where it was but my luggage was gone. My mind started frantically thinking about all my things for the weekend that were in my bags- gone in an instant. Someone with good intentions had thought it was left there accidentally and took it in the hopes of finding its owner. Luckily a majority of those at the dinner were familiar to me so I was able to recover my things at the end of the night- but I sure learned my lesson! I always heard it being announced at an airport to "Never leave your luggage unattended" but I guess the same is true outside of an airport setting! I learned to either take it with me or let others know it's been kept there to retrieve later, haha.

Moving on to a lesson learned from my two day stop at home.
2. When packing, making a list always helps! & Don't cross of the item until it is securely placed inside your suitcase!
This used to be a downfall for me in the past but learning from my mistake has helped me pack more effectively and efficiently. I would put something in, cross it off the list only to take it out for another use and forget to put it back in. This time, I only crossed off items that were in my travel bag for good!

Lessons learned on the road!
3. Packing a lunch that travels well is an inexpensive and fun way to feed hungry stomachs out on the road!
I had the wonderful privilege of traveling with an older couple. The woman I traveled with thoughtfully brought delicious picnic style chicken salad sandwiches we could assemble ourselves. I'm familiar with always having a rest stop at a McDonald's or Roy Rogers...something where you get fast food and spend some spare change on food that is probably not the best thing to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. However, this woman's example taught me what it looks like to have a good balance of spending and saving on the road (when possible)- we ate breakfast at Roy Rogers and we ate her home made sandwiches for lunch. Sadly on the way back we didn't have any home made sandwiches even though my cousin and I were secretly craving her chicken salad sandwich. ;) We did stop at Cracker Barrel though which made the ride home a bit sweeter. :)

I also learned that a road trip is a great way to find out more about your travel companions. Turning off the music for a while and just talking was a great way to keep drivers awake and also entertained. It surprised me how many hours we went simply talking without any music.Our voices and laughter were the music that filled the car as we shared and reflected on God's faithfulness in our lives. That was truly a blessing.

Lessons learned out at IWU! Here is probably where the most important lessons I'd learned.

From hearing several speakers and various testimonies of the wonderful people I met, there was one reoccurring message that was pounding away at my hard skull, which was:
4. Question things. (I am not talking about doubting)
I get so stuck in a rut of reading and understanding the Bible in a mundane and routine way....I find myself reading parables as stories that I assume make complete sense without any questioning of whats happening, why its happening the way its happening and who is making what happen. Did that confuse you enough?
I don't remember the last time I read a familiar passage in the Bible and asked out loud why is it a woman losing her coin? Why isn't it a man losing 1 out of his 10 coins? Why is it just one coin that she lost out of 10? Is there something special about 10 coins? (If you didn't get my reference, it was of the parable of the lost coin found in Luke 15.) The truth I was reminded of last week is that God writes things in the Bible in such a way that there is so much more to understand if only I would just wonder about it. I mean, if we're talking about the One who thought it important to write words "it was night" when describing when Judas left the table at the last supper: "As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night." John 13:30
When God writes something, He writes it with a purpose and leaves out nothing that He finds important. Do you think the God who had even the thread color of the robes of His Old Testament priests written down would somehow forget to write down what color a woman's head covering should be? No. He writes things with purpose and He also leaves things out (color of a woman's head covering) with purpose.Yet here I am many times just sitting and reading His Word as I would read any old story book. I need to learn how to pry open the words on the page instead of assuming I understand everything I need to from the words written right there. I heard a speaker once say, "You are not supposed to read the Bible, you are supposed to read a magazine. You are supposed to study the Bible." I pray I can start implementing this lesson learned in my life A.S.A.P.

Last lesson learned:
I remember talking to a friend on how to be a more useful vessel for my Maker and the lesson I learned from that one conversation has altered my way of thinking for good.
5. God is more concerned about the work He is doing IN me rather than the work He is doing THROUGH me.
Sometimes I get so focused on how I can be used for God to bring Him glory rather than realizing that God can use anyone to bring Him glory. The truth is that God is more concerned about the work He is doing inside of me rather than what He can do through me. That was a slap in the face kind of moment. It's not bad to be concerned about bringing God glory but its when I forget that I, or in essence what is going on inside of me and my life is what will bring God glory more than any place I go, words I say or some type of good work I do in the hope of bringing God glory. The thing God is working in me will speak louder than anything  He does through me.

Well, those are just A FEW of the lessons I've learned from my little trip. If I'd written on all the lessons, I wouldn't even be able to look back and read that long of a blog post so I'm really sparing myself. By not writing them all down I'm trusting that I have committed to memory* what I have learned...and boy am I learning how valuable my memory is. Mental pictures rather than physical, tangible photographs. Quite frankly I'm not sure what I'll do when I get old and my memory fails me. Thankfully when my memory fails, I'll be able to lean on the Rock who promises to never forget me.

"What is the price of five sparrows? A couple of pennies? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows." (Luke 12:6)

You see, I still haven't forgiven you yet....

Verse that smacked me in the face this week....
Ezekiel 33: 30-32 -“As for you, son of man, your countrymen are talking together about you by the walls and at the doors of the houses, saying to each other, ‘Come and hear the message that has come from the Lord.’ My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice. With their mouths they express devotion, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice."

Now here's the actual post....
I thought I would do something different for this week's post. I wanted to share a video that picks up on a thought I've had on my mind for quite some time now. On my walk, I've slowly but surely dragged my feet through the book of Ezekiel. I feel like I don't understand half of the things that Ezekiel sees or hears from God but there has been certain qualities that God reveals about Himself so beautifully-two of the many are his patience and forgiveness. In Ezekiel 16, God explains how his own people betrayed him. He compares his people to an adulterous wife. In this sad and gruesome analogy, God shows that even though he is deeply grieved by how little his people love him, he still remains patient and merciful to them and God is calling me to do the same today. Here are some mind blowing examples of exactly how God expects one to forgive others as we ourselves have been forgiven, check out Matthew 18: 21-35 and John 8:1-11.
        If you're going to watch the video, I suggest you pause the music by pressing the "play/pause" button on the Ipod located on the top right of the webpage now.

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Luke 17:3-4 says "Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

I have to constantly remind myself that Christ had to die for my sins the same way he had to die for the sins of the person who hurt me. All of us are in the same boat when it comes to how we stand before God so why is it so hard for me to remember that- "All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him"? (Isaiah 53:6)

What has really been helpful for me whenever I have a moment where I get angry at someone I love for doing something that hurts me is reminding myself of this verse. At first I'll feel that moment of hurt and anger but that is when I tell myself to take a step back and ask if it's really worth wasting 2 or 5 or however many minutes of my life dwelling on and being angry about this incident that I probably won't remember if I don't dwell on it. Sometimes the best way to react in a situation is thinking before actually reacting.

The human mind is an amazing creation so I'm not going to be naive and tell myself it's an easy task to forgive and forget. It's not easy to forget past grievances but you see, when I realize just how much I'm guilty of and how much I myself been forgiven for, I wouldn't dare give a second thought to forgiving someone else for an offense against me. That's the moment when Luke 17:3-4 will seem like the only reasonable thing to do. I pray that I will take this thought that's been on my heart so seriously that it will show in my actions.