Exhausted.

This hospital rotation is no joke. I guess it's preparation for what's ahead in life. Learning life lessons along with pharmacy lessons. Thankful for every bit of it. Reflecting: Did I make a name for myself or did I give the people at this place an encounter with Christ?

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The Fascinating Vriksham.

Silhouette of trees

Moon amongst the trees

Sun amongst the front yard tree.

Bench among the trees

Stream among the trees

Backyard wires amongst autumn trees

Penn campus amongst autumn trees

Penn campus amongst autumn trees.

My heart is breaking

but God is still in control.

What brings me grief

When the Church becomes the devil's playground.

When I see lost souls rejecting God's love and grace.

When I see spiritual pride getting in the way.

When parents and children can't & don't communicate.

When I see the depravity of the sin nature.

When I realize where I am complacent & lukewarm...

Evening Walk

The Discipline of Resting

I can't believe it's been more than 1 year since my last post. All I can say is this past year has been hectic, busy, hard, crazy. When I mentioned this to a brother of mine to seek some kind of affirmation of how hard the year was, his reply was, "well from here on out, it's only gonna get harder." Not exactly the words I was looking for, but I guess the words I needed to hear. It really was a tough year, lots of ups and downs, often times more downs than up if that makes sense. Somehow the prophetic words of my brother are playing out, life is really is only getting tougher. More things to do, more places to go to, more responsibilities, hustle, bustle, go go go. One thing I really needed was a break, not only a physical break but a mental break, I needed R-E-S-T. Remember Jerry, God rested on the 7th day to set an example for you. Rest. Such a foreign concept when school is in session. Even now that I'm out on "break" it's easy to get back in the go-mode.

This past weekend I was able to attend a youth retreat which I haven't attended for a while. Something inside of me told me to go. So at the last minute, the Sunday before the retreat, I picked up a pen and signed my name up on the "attending" list and registered *spontaneity points*. Once I arrived, I couldn't help but be in awe of the scenery around me. Every corner of the camp ground showcased God's creation in a brilliant manner. I couldn't help but sing a verse of the familiar song:

"When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art."

On day 1 of the retreat, I was able to attend a workshop and boy I was blown away. The task given to the attendees was to go out onto the campgrounds pick a random place and just rest, mediate and/or pray. But this idea of rest stood out to me. Had I ever done some serious resting? What was it? How do I even do it? So I went off, Bible, notebook and pen in hand. I found a playground. As I sat down on a bench, I stared up at the canopy of trees. Rest. I started singing the familiar song mentioned above. Rest Jerry, think about resting. I see trees, lots of trees, swaying, leaves scattering the sunlight. They're resting. But they're moving with the wind, but they're at rest. Long branches reaching up towards the heavens, more importantly, reaching up towards the sun that gives them the energy to work. As they reach towards the sun they grow more towards the sun, they bear fruit, and they are able to move as the wind blows them. I'm bored. I get up off the bench and walk towards the sound of rushing water. Rumbling water. I see a stream. I walk towards a bridge and stand on the bridge, staring into the tumbling water that is passing over the stream bed full of  rocks of all shapes and sizes. Over to the side of the stream I see big rocks, at rest. Not moving, but being changed ever so slowly. The water shaping each rock, smoothing out its rough edges as the rock sits at rest by the stream.

I'd never realized how much gets done while objects rest. Especially in the case of people taking time to resting by meditating on the Word, or praying. Time devoted to resting is not a time of idleness where nothing gets done but it's almost like those trees, resting, reaching up towards the sun, and as a consequence we start growing, maturing, being able to move according to the direction the Spirit is leading. Those rocks, resting by the stream side, being changed by the rushing water. In that moment, I realized I had seen a glimpse of what real rest could do and I realized I needed more of it. My resting times shouldn't consist solely of sitting down to watch an episode of Chopped but having a time where I can stretch out my hands towards the Son and as a result, grow, mature, bear fruit. One things for sure, those changes may indeed come as slowly as the rocks by the stream but they will come surely.

Lord, help me to have the discipline rest more.

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8