I can't believe it's been more than 1 year since my last post. All I can say is this past year has been hectic, busy, hard, crazy. When I mentioned this to a brother of mine to seek some kind of affirmation of how hard the year was, his reply was, "well from here on out, it's only gonna get harder." Not exactly the words I was looking for, but I guess the words I needed to hear. It really was a tough year, lots of ups and downs, often times more downs than up if that makes sense. Somehow the prophetic words of my brother are playing out, life is really is only getting tougher. More things to do, more places to go to, more responsibilities, hustle, bustle, go go go. One thing I really needed was a break, not only a physical break but a mental break, I needed R-E-S-T. Remember Jerry, God rested on the 7th day to set an example for you. Rest. Such a foreign concept when school is in session. Even now that I'm out on "break" it's easy to get back in the go-mode.
This past weekend I was able to attend a youth retreat which I haven't attended for a while. Something inside of me told me to go. So at the last minute, the Sunday before the retreat, I picked up a pen and signed my name up on the "attending" list and registered *spontaneity points*. Once I arrived, I couldn't help but be in awe of the scenery around me. Every corner of the camp ground showcased God's creation in a brilliant manner. I couldn't help but sing a verse of the familiar song:
"When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art."
On day 1 of the retreat, I was able to attend a workshop and boy I was blown away. The task given to the attendees was to go out onto the campgrounds pick a random place and just rest, mediate and/or pray. But this idea of rest stood out to me. Had I ever done some serious resting? What was it? How do I even do it? So I went off, Bible, notebook and pen in hand. I found a playground. As I sat down on a bench, I stared up at the canopy of trees. Rest. I started singing the familiar song mentioned above. Rest Jerry, think about resting. I see trees, lots of trees, swaying, leaves scattering the sunlight. They're resting. But they're moving with the wind, but they're at rest. Long branches reaching up towards the heavens, more importantly, reaching up towards the sun that gives them the energy to work. As they reach towards the sun they grow more towards the sun, they bear fruit, and they are able to move as the wind blows them. I'm bored. I get up off the bench and walk towards the sound of rushing water. Rumbling water. I see a stream. I walk towards a bridge and stand on the bridge, staring into the tumbling water that is passing over the stream bed full of rocks of all shapes and sizes. Over to the side of the stream I see big rocks, at rest. Not moving, but being changed ever so slowly. The water shaping each rock, smoothing out its rough edges as the rock sits at rest by the stream.
I'd never realized how much gets done while objects rest. Especially in the case of people taking time to resting by meditating on the Word, or praying. Time devoted to resting is not a time of idleness where nothing gets done but it's almost like those trees, resting, reaching up towards the sun, and as a consequence we start growing, maturing, being able to move according to the direction the Spirit is leading. Those rocks, resting by the stream side, being changed by the rushing water. In that moment, I realized I had seen a glimpse of what real rest could do and I realized I needed more of it. My resting times shouldn't consist solely of sitting down to watch an episode of Chopped but having a time where I can stretch out my hands towards the Son and as a result, grow, mature, bear fruit. One things for sure, those changes may indeed come as slowly as the rocks by the stream but they will come surely.
Lord, help me to have the discipline rest more.
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he
is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My
salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for
God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
That was a REalTREAT
I think I'll just linger a little while longer
My flesh tries to flee but my spirit pleads to stay
Your presence is peaceful,
Your love's ever faithful, I'd ask for more years
But to You they appear just like a day
What will it be like when I see You?
In all of your glory and power?
Will I hear, "Well done, faithful servant,
You treasured your hours?"
May I be found in Your presence
Paying no mind to my needs
Consumed by Your infinite wonder
Content at Your feet
I think I'll just linger
"My child, did you linger
A little while longer?
Those good works and deeds
Are not what I need, I only want you"
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
And to know, "Thus saith the Lord"
Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more
O for grace to trust Him more
O for grace to trust Him more.
-Linger : Warr Acres
My flesh tries to flee but my spirit pleads to stay
Your presence is peaceful,
Your love's ever faithful, I'd ask for more years
But to You they appear just like a day
What will it be like when I see You?
In all of your glory and power?
Will I hear, "Well done, faithful servant,
You treasured your hours?"
May I be found in Your presence
Paying no mind to my needs
Consumed by Your infinite wonder
Content at Your feet
I think I'll just linger
"My child, did you linger
A little while longer?
Those good works and deeds
Are not what I need, I only want you"
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
And to know, "Thus saith the Lord"
Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more
O for grace to trust Him more
O for grace to trust Him more.
-Linger : Warr Acres
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
Undeserving
Leeland- "Carried To The Table"
So, I'm in the middle of my third year of college and at the end of my spring break. These past couple of months have made me think about all that I have and how little I deserve it. I'm not sure if it was learning of the famine in Niger early last year or becoming more aware or attuned to the hurting people around me- on my drive to school, at work, and at school that made me realize how many things I have that I didn't work for. The more I realize how little those who don't have the joy of knowing Christ have, I realize how blessed I am and how undeserving I am of all that I have- including the grace shown upon me from my Lord. A few material blessings I am undeserving of are: the little lamp on this desk that's lighting my room so that I can see my keyboard to type, the heater I have blasting right next to me because my feet are cold, the food I ate today- I really don't deserve any of it. I didn't work for it, I don't deserve these things any more than a child in Congo does. It's truly a mystery to me for why God chose for me to sit here in such undeserving luxuries that I so often take for granted. I'm not saying this in a boasting way or to show that I have anything more than others- I am simply recounting all the things I have that I take for granted.
I haven't thought this much about my undeserving-ness (yes, I know that's not a real word) much until the past few months. I've always heard people say the phrases- "take a break, you deserve it." or "you deserve what's best" and not to put a damper on words that make people feel good but I've been thinking- honestly, the only thing I've actually ever deserved is death.....hell to be more precise. I'm a sinner and the wages I've earned is death! Lol I just might have lost all hopes of giving a pep-speech to anyone....But anyways, as I've slowly finished my first and rather brief walk through the Old Testament, and as I step into the New Testament, I've been moving through Matthew and also taking sneak peeks into the book of Romans. But as I move along, I notice that I've been stuck on a certain passage for the past couple of weeks, that in times past, I've only raced through not thinking twice about it let alone understanding it. It's tucked away in the 15th chapter of Mathew in between verses 21-28:
21 Jesus went away from there, and withdrew into the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed.” 23 But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, “Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.” 24 But He answered and said, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25 But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” 26 And He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” 27 But she said, “Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” 28 Then Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed at once.
I stopped at this little section and as I stood, I realized that I was really confused at what just happened. I remember reading on into the next few chapters but thinking back I realize that I didn't get what was going on nor why Jesus was doing the things He did. It seemed out of character- Jesus ignoring this woman who is crying out for the Lord to heal her daughter. Why was He not answering her a word? Almost worse, why did He later compare her to a dog? In my confusion I started digging.
She was a Canaanite. Hmm does that give any clues or explain anything, Jerry? She was....an outsider, a Gentile- not part of the "commonwealth of Israel"- God's chosen people. So Jesus didn't answer to her cries; well, Jesus doesn't have to answer to anyone's cries (but God is merciful and He does). In this instance, Jesus waits without replying to her cries. So the disciples urge Jesus to do something like send her away because of all the ruckus she's making and Jesus (knowing that the disciples would have said something) instead replies, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." Now when I read this, I thought wow this seems pretty exclusive- Christ being sent only to the people of Israel- but then I realized I wasn't thinking about the whole picture. I was reminded of how the book of Matthew was written to paint a picture of Christ as the promised Messiah that the Jews would believe. So I kept reading until I stopped again hopelessly confused when the woman starts worshiping before Him and requests Jesus to help her. Jesus replies, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." Here is where I stopped to think, Oh Lord, are you calling her a dog? As my hands held my Bible open, my eyes drifted to the bottom of the page where the commentary notes were written. As I looked for some guidance on this "dog" term, I read the following, "The lost sheep of the house of Israel must be fed before the "little dogs"- Christ employed a word here that speaks of a family pet. His words with this woman are not to be understood as harsh or unfeeling."
Oh, I breathed with a sigh of relief, my Lord isn't calling her a dog in a demeaning way- no He is communicating with her the radical truth that she is someone who had no chance to sit at the King's table and reap the benefits of being the child of a King. She replies, "Yes, Lord; but even the little pets feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table."
Wow, - she understands that she is a person who is interacting with a King, she doesn't deserve what she is asking for, yet in faith she asks despite her undeserving-ness. Despite what she knows she deserves, perhaps no chance of ever interacting with a Holy God let alone receive favor for her and healing for her daughter, she asks- hoping to receive GRACE, unmerited favor from the promised Messiah. Would I expect anything less from my Lord? He heals her daughter at once/immediately/within the very hour. No wonder why Christ is calling out her great faith.
If this isn't a better parallel to the thoughts going on in my head, I don't know what else is. I can sit here putting my feet in the dusty sandals of this Canaanite woman wondering at how such an undeserving person is able to receive such unmerited grace and favor from such a Holy God. I can think back to the Old Testament times when it was only the priests who were able to enter into the Holy Place to enjoy the presence of God, offer sacrifices and worship Him. Another picture of this unmerited favor shown on someone who was never expected to deserve it is seen in 2 Samuel 9 where King David carries Mephibosheth, the lame man, to the King's table to eat with him. Here, in the New Testament, this Canaanite woman is being carried to the table, after seeing how she was not part of Israel but still receiving grace and mercy from the Lord- what a beautiful picture of God's providential grace to all mankind- Jews and Gentiles alike. She didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it. She didn't work for it. I didn't work for it. This morning as I read Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." I was again reminded of this gift I didn't deserve. More important than the little lamp on this desk that's lighting my room so that I can see my keyboard to type, I now have the light of the world guiding my steps through this life. More important than the heater I have blasting right next to me because my feet are cold, I now have the healer who can melt my cold heart of stone. More important than the food I ate today, I have God's living word, the bread of life, my spiritual food that will endure forever. I take many things for granted but this one thing I have been reminded of is how important it is to not take my salvation for granted- for at one time I was not able to even step into the Holy Place, not able to know God or worship Him but He came and met me where I am, He decided to grant me, an undeserving sinner, unmerited grace and favor.
Some things that remind me of this wonderful gift that God has freely given me yet I didn't deserve:
1 Peter 2:10 "Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."
Ephesians 2:11-13 "Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called “uncircumcised” by those who call themselves “the circumcision” (which is done in the body by human hands)— 12 remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ."
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Ephesians 2: 19-22 "Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."
1 John 3:1-3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.
- Years I spent in vanity and pride,
Caring not my Lord was crucified,
Knowing not it was for me He died
On Calvary. - Mercy there was great, and grace was free;
Pardon there was multiplied to me;
There my burdened soul found liberty,
At Calvary. - By God’s Word at last my sin I learned;
Then I trembled at the law I’d spurned,
Till my guilty soul imploring turned
To Calvary. - Now I’ve giv’n to Jesus everything,
Now I gladly own Him as my King,
Now my raptured soul can only sing
Of Calvary. - Oh, the love that drew salvation’s plan!
Oh, the grace that brought it down to man!
Oh, the mighty gulf that God did span
At Calvary!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Matthew 10:8
"-Freely you have received, freely give." The little nugget at the end of the verse (context, Jesus giving instruction to the disciples to use the authority He gave them freely, willingly, and impartially.)
Note made: Some things that I have been freely given that I can give out freely:
-Forgiveness
-Love
-Mercy
The list goes on...
The three things I find hardest to give without partiality I myself have been given freely.
The next time I question on what basis to grant forgiveness or love or mercy, I really hope I remember this verse. The basis should be none because freely I have received, so freely I should give.
Note made: Some things that I have been freely given that I can give out freely:
-Forgiveness
-Love
-Mercy
The list goes on...
The three things I find hardest to give without partiality I myself have been given freely.
The next time I question on what basis to grant forgiveness or love or mercy, I really hope I remember this verse. The basis should be none because freely I have received, so freely I should give.
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